Roleplay Retcon
Comedy
About
Roleplay Retcon remakes the movies that let you down using tabletop roleplaying games (TTRPGS), soundtracks by indie bands, and lots of goofy writers' room jokes. Professional writer Benjamin Gray, Theatre sensei Jensie, and RPG expert/comedian/cinephile Alex invite a new guest, feature a new band, and play a new roleplaying or storytelling game for each bad movie.
Episodes
- The Snowman (2017): "Gunpointing" Rookie Camp | Roleplay Retcon
Welcome to Rookie Camp, where we go over the movie we're remaking and the game we're using to do the job! This time we're remaking the 2017 Norwegian murder mystery thriller The Snowman , notorious for its baffling editing that makes the s…
- BONUS: Altered Beef (with I Have the High Ground) | Roleplay Retcon
This is a remaster of Altered Beef, our playthrough of Jess Levine's I Have the High Ground, which was once a Patreon exclusive but has broken containment and is now Main Feeding. The heroes of the very weird Sega arcade beat-'em-up Altere…
- BONUS: Sonic Adventures, Ep. 2: The Lamentation of Miles Prower | Roleplay Retcon
A newly-upgraded Metal Sonic stands in the way of Abracadabra and Starry's rescue. This was originally on our Patreon, but now it's remixed with a new snappy edit, music, and sound effects! Content Warnings: Profanity We're playing Sonic…
- BONUS: Sonic Adventures, Ep. 1: The Way We Blur | Roleplay Retcon
We play Sonic Adventures, our original micro-RPG based on classic Sonic the Hedgehog games! Abracadabra the Orchid Mantis, Scruffy the Capybara, and Starry the Flying Fox are on a mission to save the world-famous Sonic from the Egg Fleet!…
- W.A.I.R. Feed Drop: The Zone featuring Roleplay Retcon
This is episode 1 of our guest spot on What Am I Rolling? with Fiona K. T. Howat, where we play Annihilation- inspired surreal horror game The Zone ! You'll have to go to W.A.I.R. to get episode 2! _____________________________________…
- The Fog (2005): Rehash | Roleplay Retcon
The murder and the revelation of the Fog's intentions has thinned Sunday and Beatrice's already tenuous partnership. This is a remastered recording of a previous livestream on the One Shot Podcast Network Twitch channel. Content Warnings:…
- The Fog (2005), Ep. 3: Ladies' Night (Finale) | Roleplay Retcon
The murder and the revelation of the Fog's intentions has thinned Sunday and Beatrice's already tenuous partnership. This is a remastered recording of a previous livestream on the One Shot Podcast Network Twitch channel. Content Warnings:…
- The Fog (2005), Ep. 2: All Night Long | Roleplay Retcon
Trudy, Beatrice, and Sunday make it to the lighthouse, which doubles as Sunday's radio station and holds the thin hope of contacting the outside world. But the white fog still swirls through the town, and violence still fills the streets..…
- The Fog (2005), Ep. 1: Against the Wind | Roleplay Retcon
The Fog (1980) is one of John Carpenter's middling outings, but it's not a terrible choice for a cozy soft-horror night in. But its 2005 remake is unmitigated torture. So we're remaking a terrible remake of a sorta-mediocre movie with Ten…
- Home Sweet Home Alone (2021) with Husband Daddy Protector Hero | Roleplay Retcon
Home Sweet Home Alone is the sixth sequel in the franchise and has a scroogely 15% on Rotten Tomatoes (and you DON'T have to watch it!), but we take one big cue from it: The burglars are the protagonists! We play Husband Daddy Protector He…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018): Rehash | Roleplay Retcon
Let's get out of those stuffy mech cockpits, change out of our sweaty pilot hardsuits, and have a cozy night in as we gab about how our version of Pacific Rim: Uprising stacks up to the original, our thoughts on Lancer , and our casting ch…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018): Finale | Roleplay Retcon
The pilots face off against Shao's ultimate weapon. The fate of the future is at stake. Survival is not guaranteed. Content Warnings: War, weapons, violence, profanity Guest GMed by Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 14: Shanghai Boom | Roleplay Retcon
Clones of Kaiju Leatherback, Slattern, and Otachi have descended on Shanghai. This is what you came for. Content Warnings: War, weapons, violence, profanity Guest GMed by Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots ! Play his ne…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 13: Elevator Action | Roleplay Retcon
The pilots must find a way into the Shao Corporation's headquarters, stop the drone synch operation, and confront Liwen Shao. Alex delegates. Amara is a hack. Bon makes a sizzle reel. Content Warnings: War, weapons, references to gun viole…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 12: Arcs & Mech | Roleplay Retcon
The Shatterdome musters what resources they have to stop whatever the Shao Corporation is planning before their mysterious "Drone Synch" operation executes in a few hours. To-do list items include burying hatchets, glazing scientists, and…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2008), Ep. 11: Twelve-Gun F**k You | Roleplay Retcon
The pilots plug their gunshot wounds and hop into their mechs to defend the Shatterdome against the hulking and terrifying Kaiju-Jaeger hybrids. Alex is Mr. Knife Guy. Bon tanks it. Amara brings a hammer to a gunfight. Content Warnings: Vi…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 10: RV Has the Meats| Roleplay Retcon
The Jaeger pilots and Professor Hermann Gottlieb rush to the outskirts of Los Angeles to find Newton Geisler (you know, Charlie Day in the first movie), who may hold the key to stopping the Shao Corporation's drones. Newt has a secret insi…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 9: The Hermann Condition | Roleplay Retcon
With only 40 hours remaining before every Shao drone syncronizes, the pilots scramble to present their findings from the Siberian facility back to Professor Hermann Gottlieb. Bon takes a free sample. Amara mech-ccessorizes. Alex gets beer…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 8: Siberian Husk | Roleplay Retcon
At least one pilot survives the fight against Obsidian Fury, probably, which means they probably get to further explore the horrifying Kaiju farm. Amara probably notices a pattern. Bon probably doesn't trust the science. Alex probably grap…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 7: If You Don't Have Real Kaiju, Artificial is Fine | Roleplay Retcon
There's no time to process the horrifying discovery in the Siberian industrial complex, because Obsidian Fury is back to finish the job. Alex brings a knife to a gunfight. Amara brings guns to a gunfight. Bon brings weird vibes to a gunfig…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 6: Industrial Complex? It's Actually Quite Simple | Roleplay Retcon
The vibes at the Shatterdome are rancid, to say the least. The pilots try to pick up themselves up after their failed mission and receive a new one: Investigate the source of the mysterious Jaeger's signal in Siberia. Amara finds piece. Bo…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 5: J.D. Salinger's Catch Her in the Sky | Roleplay Retcon
The mysterious rogue mech won't respond to communications and seems hellbent on eliminating Mako Mori. Amara, Bon, and Alex fight desperately to buy time for Mako to escape... Content Warnings: Violence, Death, War, City Destruction Guest…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 4: Downtime Is Not Clowntime | Roleplay Retcon
The training exercise went brilliantly, and now all that's left is the big day. Bon makes some waves. Alex punches out. Amara has range. Content Warnings: PTSD, animal death, weapons of war Guest GMed by Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 3: Kaiju? Gesundheit | Roleplay Retcon
Now that Amara has learned the ropes in her new Jaeger, it's time for a combat exercise against Jake's three simulated Kaiju. It's also a good way to get to know her new squadmates, who don't have any personal problems at all. Content Warn…
- BONUS: House of Cards (with Fiona Howat, Daniel Kwan, and Jon Taylor)
For the One Shot Patreon Drive , we played Ben's secret project: House of Cards , a horror game about survivors trying to escape a labyrinth of seemingly endless rooms from different houses and eras. Fiona Howat from What Am I Rolling? , D…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 2: Jaeger? I barely know'er | Roleplay Retcon
Amara and Jake are in hot water with the Pan Pacific Defense Council, but Jake's surprising connection offers them a job in exchange for freedom: Help revive the dying Jaeger pilot training program. Content Warnings: Profanity, heavy weapo…
- Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 1: What's Amara with You? | Roleplay Retcon
The Kaiju attacks ended long ago. Now, scavengers pick through the ruins of Los Angeles to find Jaeger parts, either to re-sell on the black market or for making homebrew machines of their own. Both mech wunderkind Amara Namani and Jake Pe…
- Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018): Lancer Rookie Camp | Roleplay Retcon
We're taking you back to Crunchytown with the Mech TTRPG Lancer, which we'll use to remake Pacific Rim: Uprising , the disappointing 2018 sequel to Pacific Rim . Though very fun and satisfying, Lancer is a little complicated, so we brought…
- Cocktail (1988): Finale (with Superdillin) | Roleplay Retcon
In the finale of our remake of Cocktail (1988), some of the employees are chased by their pasts and some are agonizing about the present. Is a future of love and happiness even possible? Some say The Newest House knows... Can you guess who…
- Cocktail (1988) with Superdillin, Part 1 | Roleplay Retcon
We're remaking Cocktail (1988), an early entry in Tom Cruise's career that's bad in a funny way, but could still use a little jazz(?)ing up. We're playing an original game based on our guest Superdillin's Spin the Bottle , which uses the c…
- The Longest Yard (2005): Rehash | Roleplay Retcon
We're rubbing ointment on our tired muscles as we recap the victories and losses of our season, how they stack up to the original movie, and what we thought of Play Ball! , the game we powered our remake with. Stick around to the end to fi…
- The Longest Yard (2005): Finale | Roleplay Retcon
The prisoners are ahead going into the second half, but the warden has dirty tricks yet pulled, Portman is still sabotaging the team for a taste of Maple Syrup and a pardon, Cornflake is butting heads with him, and Bocepherous's demoraliza…
- The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 9: Playing Hurt | Roleplay Retcon
As the game thunders on, Cornflake's and Portman's selfish agendas clash, and even Bocepherous's pure heart may not be enough to fix things. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monda…
- Madame Web (2024) with FLOPS (featuring Kendo Smith) | Roleplay Retcon
We're taking a quick break from The Longest Yard with the audio from a livestreamed game of FLOPS, the TTRPG we're currently Kickstarter-ing! We remade last year's Madame Web , which may be the most unintentionally funny of the Spiderman-M…
- The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 8: Today is Football | Roleplay Retcon
It's finally the day of the Big Game, and the bonds that bind these baller boys begin to bend. Bocepherous runs it in. Portman phones it in. Cornflake digs it in. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Back our new game FLOPS on Kic…
- The Longest Yard (2005), Ep.7: An Intrigue of Their Own | Roleplay Retcon
Cornflake's shady past is now public knowledge and his social stock has plummeted. To get back on the team's good side and convince Portman that he's in mortal danger, he resolves to get proof of the Warden's dark plans from his office. Co…
- The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 6: The Longest Yarn | Roleplay Retcon
Everything's going great! Pizza party! Bocepherous nails an interception. Cornflake calls a timeout. Portman plays defense. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday ! Soundtrack by…
- The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 5: Bone Down for What | Roleplay Retcon
The team has its first practice, and one thing becomes clear to Coach Burt: They're gonna have to cheat. Bocepherous finds a moral loophole. Cornflake meets the prison's biggest shipper. Portman gives a disjointed speech. Content Warnings:…
- The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 4: I Did Not Shoot the Burger Prince | Roleplay Retcon
It's up to Cornflake to find his way into solitary confinement and recruit their safety-- the mysterious Peter Pistol, who has a troubled past and a troubled heart. Portman tags along for the first phase of the plan, but he has his own ide…
- Red One (2024) with The Fight Before Christmas | Roleplay Retcon
Red One is the first movie we've remade while the original is still in theaters, but its wasted Metal Gear Solid meets Santa premise and $100 million loss at the box office begged us to do it ASAP. We're remaking it with The Fight Before C…
- The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 3: Hoops, There It Is | Roleplay Retcon
Burt Reynolds proclaims himself the prison team's coach with some pushback, but not enough to matter. The boys make trips to the basketball court, the library, and the labor yard to recruit more players to the team. Portman takes the rule…
- The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 2: Gruel Intentions | Roleplay Retcon
The boys split up to begin building the team. Cornflake finds some art supplies. Bocepherous gets a dose of reality. Portman has a memorable meal. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master…
- The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 1: Maple Attraction | Roleplay Retcon
Former NFL quarterback and maple syrup kingpin Portman Tow, Mama's boy Bocepherous Nut, and professional grifter Cornflake Cogburn all find themselves in the wrong seat of a squad car. At their new prison home, Warden Sanders promises a re…
- The Longest Yard (2005): Rookie Camp with Grant Nordine and Play Ball!
Rookie Camp episodes are our cute name for "episode zero" where we introduce the game we're playing ( Play Ball! by Roe Caufield) and our first-ever guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday . And the name is finally apt because we're r…
- Game Master Monday Feed Drop
Before we get started with our remake of a remake of The Longest Yard , get to know our first-ever guest GM: Grant Nordine, the co-creator, co-host, and often titular game master of the podcast Game Master Monday . Each episode of Game Mas…
- Superman IV (1987) with Jeff Stormer, Finale | Roleplay Retcon
In the back half of our remake of Superman IV: The Quest for Peace , Superman doesn't let his humiliation at the hands of Nuclear Man stop him from dismantling the world's nukes. Will Nuclear man retaliate, or will he be distracted by Lois…
- Superman IV (1987) with Jeff Stormer, Part 1 | Roleplay Retcon
Jeff Stormer, Superman superfan and the host of Party of One , made a bespoke game specifically for remaking Superman IV: The Quest for Peace , the final Christopher Reeve Superman movie that put Supes in Hollywood timeout for 20 years. Co…
- An American Werewolf in Paris (1997) with Gamewoven
An American Werewolf in London (1981) is one of the all-time great horror comedies. And then 16 years later somebody decided to make a spiritual sequel, An American Werewolf in Paris , and inject it with all of the worst tropes of the '90s…
- The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003): Rehash | Roleplay Retcon
Time is as it should be and the League heads off on their next adventure. We're gonna stay here and talk about this one, though. Did we improve on the original movie? Find out what we think in this episode! Featuring Ryan and Laurel from …
- The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003): Finale | Roleplay Retcon
The League and Carmen Sandiego have their final showdown. Not everyone will survive. Holtzmann does what she does best. Marty lifts a gag order. Laszlo puts on the rizz. Dom steals half a truck. Content Warnings: Death, violence, Nazis, bl…