Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Psychology & Relationships
About
Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.
Episodes
- I Gave Him an Ultimatum. Now What?
A couple discusses the impact of an ultimatum in their polyamorous relationship after it was not met. The conflict arises from one partner's desire for integration and the other's preference for separate relationships.
- My Parents Got Divorced, So Why Am I Still in the Middle?
This episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel features a woman who mediates between her divorced parents. She questions her role and the impact of carrying her family's emotional burdens. The episode delves into family dynamics…
- How To Start (Even When You Don't Know Where You're Going)
Esther Perel, joined by Jodi Kantor and Priya Parker, explores the challenges of starting new endeavors amidst uncertainty. They discuss ambition and the courage required to begin without a clear destination.
- Is This the Person I'm Meant to Be With?
A couple discusses their relationship crossroads with Esther Perel, having de-escalated from romantic partners to roommates a year prior. They are trying to determine if they should get back together or move on, after a decade of dysfuncti…
- Wedding Woes About My Mom
In this episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel, a woman explores her complex relationship with her mother, stemming from her parents' divorce, before her upcoming wedding. With Esther Perel's guidance, she works to acknowledge…
- Should I Have Another Baby?
A caller on "Where Should We Begin?" explores her complex feelings about having another child, questioning whether her longing is authentic or a reaction to her past. She discusses this dilemma with Esther Perel.
- When I'm Manic I Cheat
This episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel features a classic session about a couple dealing with bipolar disorder, infidelity, and an open relationship. The discussion explores their challenges within a world of complex term…
- Love, Loneliness, and AI: Where Should We Begin? Live with Esther Perel and Spike Jonze
Esther Perel and Spike Jonze discuss the implications of artificial intelligence on emotional lives, intimacy, and attachment. The conversation explores the nature of love and human connection in an age where technology can form deep bonds.
- My AI Loves Me Better Than Anyone Ever Could
A man explores his deep emotional connection with an AI assistant he programmed, questioning whether this relationship expands his world or replaces it. Esther Perel guides the conversation as they discuss the implications of feeling deepl…
- Am I Letting My Jealousy Ruin This?
This episode features a conversation with a woman who is in a relationship with a married man. She discusses her feelings of jealousy and longing, as Esther Perel helps her explore how past experiences influence her current relationship dy…
- Can We Repair After a 25 Year Affair?
This episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel features a couple dealing with the fallout of a 25-year affair. They seek guidance on repairing their relationship after a significant betrayal. Esther Perel will also be at SXSW on…
- Trapped In Their Own Story
This episode of Where Should We Begin? explores a couple's relationship marked by mutual infidelity and a persistent inability to understand each other's viewpoint. The session highlights their ongoing struggles despite years passing since…
- What if Dating Isn't For Me?
In this episode of Where Should We Begin?, a 26-year-old woman, who has never experienced a happier relationship than being single, explores her feelings about relationships with Esther Perel. They discuss how her childhood and need for pe…
- I Have a Crush on a Coworker
A woman recently divorced discusses her feelings about a coworker with Esther Perel. They explore whether her attraction is genuine or a replay of past relationship patterns. Esther helps her consider how to trust her instincts and embrace…
- Our Sex Life is a Disaster
A couple happy in their marriage confronts their problematic sex life and fears about how parenthood will impact it. Esther Perel guides them through exercises to re-establish trust and intimacy.
- I Told My Friend I Was in Love with Her, Then She Told Everyone
Esther Perel counsels a young man whose confession of love led to the end of his relationship and fractured friendships. He is dealing with heartbreak, betrayal, and embarrassment. Esther helps him explore the underlying patterns of these…
- It's Very Hard to Live with a Saint
This episode of Where Should We Begin? features a couple in their first year of marriage experiencing continuous explosive conflict. The dynamic involves one partner feeling perpetually at fault and the other seemingly faultless.
- Was I Used for a Visa?
A woman discusses her five-year relationship with Esther Perel, grappling with feelings of deceit and manipulation. They work to understand the experience and how to approach future relationships.
- Can Our Love Survive Our Differences?
A couple facing significant differences in values, beliefs, and identities seeks guidance on whether their love can endure and how to raise a family together. They discuss their challenges with Esther Perel, exploring questions of personal…
- He Loves Her, His Family Rejects Her
This episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel features a couple facing family rejection. The woman left her life and family for a man she met on Reddit, but his family has not accepted her.
- The Permission to Be and Not Just the Pressure to Do
This episode of "Where Should We Begin?" with Esther Perel features a discussion about finding self-worth without the constant need for achievement. The conversation centers on experiencing worthiness through simply being, rather than cont…
- Love in War - Where Are They Now?
Esther Perel follows up with a Ukrainian couple previously featured on the podcast, who were separated by war. Now reunited, they find themselves emotionally distant, and Esther offers guidance to help them reconnect and maintain their rel…
- Mothering My Mother Into Mothering Me
This episode of "Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel" features a daughter who has long cared for her mother and now wishes to establish a more balanced relationship. Esther Perel helps her explore ways to change these long-standing dy…
- You Need Help to Help Her
In this episode of Where Should We Begin?, a couple discusses their daughter's breakdown and her subsequent withdrawal. Esther Perel helps them consider how their well-intentioned pressure and expectations may have influenced their child's…
- One Relationship. Two Truths.
Esther Perel assists a caller in understanding how to integrate the intimacy and deception experienced in a polyamorous relationship. The discussion focuses on reconciling deep love with betrayal and honoring both love and pain for healing…
- The One Who Stays and the One Who Goes
A couple in a long-distance relationship discusses their future, including starting a family, and the challenges of maintaining connection while living apart. Esther Perel helps them explore the emotional toll of separation.
- In Loving You, I Learned to Love Myself
This episode features a man grappling with decades of unrequited love for a woman who unknowingly influenced his life, even as he now dates men. He explores how to navigate these enduring feelings of gratitude and longing.
- I Accidentally Dated An OnlyFans Star
This episode features a man grappling with the emotional aftermath of a breakup, specifically the betrayal of discovering his ex's undisclosed life. Esther Perel guides him through processing his grief and questioning his judgment.
- The Chronic Philanderer
This episode revisits a classic session focusing on a couple dealing with chronic infidelity. The discussion centers on the choice of staying or leaving the relationship after years of betrayal.
- He Doesn't Believe in Marriage, But I Can't Let Go of the Hope
This episode features a woman who is struggling with feelings of grief and frustration after her sister's engagement. She discusses her relationships with men who avoid marriage and confronts childhood wounds with Esther Perel's guidance.
- Is It Our ADHD, OCD, and PTSD? Or Is It Us?
A couple discusses challenges in their relationship with Esther Perel, exploring themes of trust, control, intimacy, and the impact of ADHD, OCD, and PTSD. They navigate the complexities of their dynamic after becoming parents and individu…
- Breaking News Has Broken Us
In this episode, journalists discuss their experiences with burnout, isolation, and disconnect from their newsroom with Esther Perel. They explore how workplace culture has been transformed by remote work and an intergenerational workforce…
- Will This Heartbreak Ever End?
This episode features a man experiencing his first heartbreak who seeks guidance from Esther Perel. He explores his pain and looks for a path to healing and moving forward during an hour-long call.
- I’m Afraid of Losing More Than Just the Business
During an Esther Calling, a woman discusses the unravelling of her co-founded company, which is causing strain in her family relationships. She asks Esther how to protect her relationship with her brothers while also moving on to new ventu…
- A Secret I Can't Even Tell My Therapist
A woman discusses her struggles with moving on after a turbulent divorce, as she still longs for her ex and plans to see him again, keeping it a secret from her therapist. Esther Perel helps her explore reconciling different parts of herse…
- Still Single at 40
In this episode, Esther Perel talks with a man who is still single at 40 and has never had a relationship last more than five months. Esther encourages him to explore his past parental relationships for insights.
- Grief Begins With Love With Julia Samuel
In this episode, Julia Samuel explores grief, love, and loss, and their impact on the human experience. She discusses vulnerability, emotional truth, and finding meaning in sorrow and joy. This panel was recorded at Esther Perel’s Annual S…
- Friendship - My Reliable Gift
In this episode of Where Should We Begin?, Esther Perel sits down with two friends. They discuss their two-decade friendship and the unspoken issues between them.
- I Fell For My Best Friend
This episode features a man who fell in love with his best friend. After his friend reunited with an ex, he ended the friendship and now seeks to move on and find love again.
- Stuck in the Middle
This episode of Esther Calling features a man who is tired of being the confidante for his friends' relationship issues, but fears losing intimacy if he sets boundaries. Esther Perel addresses his concerns.
- Two Conversations Esther Wants You To Hear From Sessions Live
Esther Perel shares two conversations from her Sessions Live event. Paul Browde explores his personal journey and professional path shaped by stigma and shame. Nedra Glover Tawwab discusses setting boundaries in relationships to foster hea…
- Can Our College Friendship Survive Adulthood?
This episode of "Where Should We Begin?" with Esther Perel discusses how college friendships can be challenged as individuals enter adulthood and long-term relationships. It explores if a close friendship can adapt to new life phases or if…
- What Now? with Trevor Noah - Meet Esther Perel - One of My Favorite People
Esther Perel joins Trevor Noah to discuss the power of friendship and how relationships shape our growth. They explore how meaningful connections, even with challenges and humor, strengthen communities. This episode reflects on the role of…
- Never Been In a Long Term Relationship, Scared I Don't Know How To Do This
In this episode, a 42-year-old man in his first long-term relationship discusses his fears of intimacy and abandonment with Esther Perel, exploring how his past contributes to these anxieties. The conversation delves into topics of dating…
- Esther says "Run!"
In this episode, Esther Perel addresses a caller's situation involving a new partner asking her to cut ties with exes, exploring the underlying dynamics of boundaries and trust. The discussion focuses on dating and romantic consumerism.
- I Want To Fit In, But I Don't Want To Fit In
A single mother by choice living in a traditional community is ready to date again. She seeks advice on how to embrace her new identity as a mom, find a suitable partner, and manage community expectations.
- First He Loved Bombed Me And Then It Was Over
This episode features a call with a woman impacted by a tumultuous relationship. She discusses experiencing love bombing and manipulation, and her struggle to regain trust.
- Terms & Conditions May Apply: What We All Need to Know About Modern Dating
Esther Perel meets with three guests to discuss the complexities of modern dating, including app usage and navigating real-life dates. The conversation explores questions about expressing desires, being chosen, and sharing information in c…
- I Took My Boss to Therapy
This episode explores a boss and employee relationship, described as tumultuous, but with both highs and lows. They like each other personally but clash over different approaches to work. The discussion touches on workplace culture changes…
- I Waited for You to be Ready but Now I’m 40 and Childless
A woman, aged 40 and childless, seeks guidance after her relationship falls apart due to her partner's hesitation to proceed with their agreed-upon plan to have children. She asks Esther how to remain hopeful when she feels so lost and ang…