227 Attachment Injuries, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Self-Care
Attachment Injuries, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Self-Care Jen and I discuss attachment wounds and using an Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. We talk about the difference of speaking for our parts vs. speaking from our parts. We talk about overperformance, the pressure to show up and masking, and the importance of feeling seen and heard in relationships. We talk about unpacking an autism diagnosis and reviewing life through the lens of autism. We also emphasize embracing imperfection and practicing self-care and self-compassion. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their current states and challenges, including the impact of attachment injuries and autism. They explore the importance of reframing and unpacking an autism diagnoses. They also discuss the significance of embracing imperfection and practicing self-compassion. The conversation delves into the difference between speaking for parts and speaking from parts, as well as the challenges of feeling seen and heard in relationships. They also touch on the role of technology in communication and the connection between self-worth and expressing love. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the pressure to show up and overperform, particularly in relation to masking and societal expectations. They explore the idea of letting go of perfection in expressing self-worth and the impact it has on relationships. They also delve into managing expectations and self-pressure, recognizing that others often have different expectations than we do for ourselves. Finally, they touch on the importance of embracing different parts of ourselves and being in relationship with them. Takeaways The pressure to show up and overperform can be overwhelming, especially for individuals who feel the need to mask their true selves. Letting go of the idea of perfection in expressing self-worth can lead to greater ease and authenticity in relationships. Managing expectations and self-pressure is crucial for maintaining mental well-being, as others often have different expectations than we do for ourselves. Embracing different parts of ourselves and being in relationship with them allows for a more integrated and balanced sense of self. Summary · Navigating life with autism and managing attachment injuries. · The impact of autism on daily routines and family dynamics. · Understanding the challenges of having food, routines, and independence, · Embracing imperfection and letting go of perfectionism, · Recognizing the need for gentleness and self-compassion, especially with the inner critic. · Exploring the concept of "autistic burnout" and its impact on daily life and mental health. · Reflecting on the journey of self-discovery and acceptance after receiving an autism diagnosis. · Embracing the process of reframing past experiences through the lens of autism. · Navigating the complexities of showing love and care. · Understanding the diverse ways individuals express love and support within the neurodivergent community. · Addressing the challenges of communication and maintaining connections · Exploring the impact of ADHD and neurodivergence on memory, attention, and maintaining social patterns. · Recognizing the importance of open communication and managing expectations in relationships. · Embracing vulnerability and acknowledging the impact of attachment wounds in personal interactions. · Insights into the journey of self-discovery, self-care, and personal growth as a neurodivergent person Chapters (will need to be adjusted with the addition of the introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Current State 01:07 Exploring Attachment Injuries and Autism 04:04 Accepting the Autism Diagnosis 09:26 Leaning into Challenges and Reframing 12:26 Navigating Self-Criticism and Self-Judgment 15:19 Embracing Imperfection and Self-Compassion 19:01 Speaking for Parts vs. Speaking from Parts 23:28 Being Fully Present in Life 28:02 Feeling Seen and Hea