They Mess You Up with Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan
Psychology & Relationships
About
A weekly podcast series presented by family doctor and broadcaster, Dr. Ciara Kelly & family psychotherapist and author, Dr. Richard Hogan. They Mess You Up is a straight-talking show that unpacks messy, everyday relationship and mental-health issues with a mix of clinical perspective, personal anecdotes and wry, no-nonsense banter. They cover topics from affairs, jealousy and people-pleasing to anxiety, parenting and dating after separation, with practical takeaways framed by the hosts’ professional experience. The show is a pragmatic guide to why people hurt each other - and themselves.
Episodes
- Blended Families: The Biggest Mistakes to Avoid
In this episode of They Mess You Up, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan explore the emotional complexities of blended families. They discuss how attempting to merge families can lead to tension and resentment, and caution against the pr…
- Career Change: Taking the Leap
Ciara Kelly and Richard Hogan discuss career changes, addressing fears of failure and the pressure to remain in current roles. They share personal experiences and offer advice on making fulfilling career transitions.
- Can We Get Back Together? (Listener Dilemma)
This episode of They Mess You Up addresses a listener's relationship concerns after a breakup. Ciara and Richard analyze the situation, discussing potential betrayal and the challenges of rebuilding trust.
- Co-Parenting Mistakes: Stop Putting Kids in the Middle
Ciara Kelly and Richard Hogan discuss how children are emotionally impacted by parental separation when conflict arises. They explore damaging co-parenting behaviors and strategies to shield children from being caught in the middle.
- Sibling Rivalry & Resentment
Ciara Kelly and Richard Hogan discuss why siblings are often triggering, exploring concepts like comparison, family roles, and sibling rivalry. They offer insights on building healthier, more connected relationships.
- Staying After an Affair
This episode discusses the complexities of staying together after an affair, focusing on navigating betrayal, secrecy, and the process of rebuilding trust and communication.
- Mental Health Influencers
This episode discusses the impact of online mental health content, addressing the risks associated with oversimplified or widely shared complex mental health issues.
- Breaking up is hard to do!
In this episode, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan explore the challenges of breakups, discussing what constitutes a
- Negative News Overload
This episode of They Mess You Up with Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan explores the impact of constant negative news on mental health and offers advice on setting boundaries.
- ADHD: Strengths and Struggles
Ciara Kelly and Richard Hogan explore the challenges associated with ADHD, including inattention, impulsivity, time blindness, and overwhelm. They also discuss the inherent strengths of ADHD and how implementing structure and support can b…
- Grief: Life After Loss
Ciara Kelly and Richard Hogan explore the experience of grief after loss, discussing its ebb and flow, the uniqueness of each loss, and the complex emotions involved. The episode also touches on coping mechanisms in the early stages and ma…
- Loneliness in Modern Life
This episode of They Mess You Up with Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan explores the multifaceted issue of loneliness. It delves into why loneliness can manifest as physical pain, the societal stigma associated with admitting to feelin…
- Kids Online - Access & Protection
In this episode, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan examine the effects of technology on children, addressing issues like harmful content and topics such as eating disorders and self-harm. The discussion includes regulation, big tech's…
- Drama Kings & Queens
This episode of They Mess You Up with Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan addresses how to handle people who consistently create crises. They explore the motivations behind dramatic behavior and provide advice on protecting one's own wel…
- Help - I don't like my kids!
Dr. Richard Hogan and Dr. Ciara Kelly address the difficult topic of parents not liking their children. They explore potential causes like personality clashes and emotional distance, and discuss the effects on a child's self-esteem and tru…
- When Sex Disappears
In the first episode of 'They Mess You Up,' Drs. Hogan and Kelly explore the common issue of sexless marriages, discussing contributing factors such as stress, health problems, and communication breakdowns, and offering insights on how cou…
- S1. Episode 10 - Technology & Adolescence
Season 1's final episode features Dr. Richard Hogan and Dr. Ciara Kelly exploring technology's complex effects on adolescents. They cover parental challenges, the link between digital connection and isolation, anxiety, online bullying, and…
- S1. Episode 9 - The New Year
In the first episode of 2025, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan explore the ineffectiveness of punitive New Year's resolutions, highlighting their high failure rates. They propose focusing on positive reinforcement, self-acceptance, an…
- S1. Episode 8 - Surviving Christmas
In their festive special, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan address the emotional challenges of Christmas family gatherings. They offer practical advice on setting boundaries, navigating conversations, and managing expectations to enha…
- S1. Episode 7 - Sex Addiction
In this episode, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan explore sex addiction, discussing its connection to childhood trauma, the emotional isolation it causes, and its impact on relationships. They also offer guidance on recovery through c…
- S1. Episode 6 - Narcissism
In this episode, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan explore narcissism, detailing its traits, effects on relationships with family, friends, and partners, and common patterns like love bombing and lack of empathy. The discussion also co…
- S1. Episode 5 - Dating
In this episode of They Mess You Up, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan discuss the complexities of dating after major life changes like divorce or loss. They cover common anxieties, societal expectations, body image, and the importance…
- S1. Episode 4 - Jealousy and Envy
This episode of They Mess You Up features Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan discussing jealousy and envy. They explain the difference between the two emotions and how they relate to early attachments and various relationships.
- S1. Episode 3 - Anxiety
Ciara Kelly and Richard Hogan discuss anxiety, defining it, explaining why we feel it, and offering management strategies. They cover challenging anxious thoughts, building resilience, and recognizing the need for professional help.
- S1. Episode 2 - People Pleasing
Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan discuss the neuroscience and damaging effects of people pleasing, particularly for women. They offer strategies to assert needs and say no without guilt.
- S1. Episode 1 - Affairs
In the first episode of They Mess You Up, hosts Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan address the sensitive and taboo subject of affairs.
- Trailer
This is the trailer for "They Mess You Up," a weekly podcast hosted by Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan. The show will address common relationship and mental health challenges using clinical perspectives, personal anecdotes, and pract…