The Offensive
Comedy
About
An award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC.'The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode - a must listen for football fans' - The Guardian'Ultra-sharp satire' - GQThis podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episodes
- Introducing... BOOM Season Two | Out now
The audio drama BOOM returns for a second season, with the first two episodes currently available and new installments releasing on Mondays. Listeners can subscribe to the podcast or purchase the full six-episode season ad-free via Acast+.
- Bonus: Episode 189 - Thanks for Listening
This bonus episode of The Offensive features a behind-the-scenes look at the series finale of Ashwood City.
- Episode 188 - The Final Finale: Part 2
In the final episode of The Offensive, the consequences of five years of mismanagement and greed come to a head, deciding the fate of the club and its staff.
- Episode 187 - The Final Finale: Part 1
In this episode of The Offensive, Ashwood City FC faces the end of the season following their relegation from the Premier League. The episode features an appearance at the Court of Appeal by Sir Patrick Nolan.
- Episode 186 - Full Time
In the final matchday of the 2022/23 Premier League season, Ashwood City fights to secure survival in the league. This fictional episode follows the team as they navigate the last 90 minutes of the season.
- Episode 185 - Everton v Ashwood City
In this episode of The Offensive, Peter Reynolds and Billy Richards provide coverage of the Premier League Matchday 37 fixture between Everton and Ashwood City at Goodison Park.
- Episode 184 - Council Culture
Following a 4-0 defeat to Manchester United, Ashwood City football club looks for a recovery on the pitch while navigating a new legal situation involving a local magistrate.
- Episode 183 - Hove is where the Heart is
In this episode of The Offensive, Jess Tate and Patrick Nolan discuss the consequences of administration amid deepening financial cuts at Ashwood City. Meanwhile, the team struggles to maintain their league form during a critical part of t…
- Episode 182 - All The Manager's Men
In this episode of The Offensive, Ashwood City faces further staff cuts during a CVA. Sporting Director Chris Woodall attempts to support manager Dan Watson while Patrick Nolan separates himself from the ongoing crisis.
- Episode 181 - Risen from the Zoom
As Ashwood City visits the Emirates Stadium, Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan discusses his meeting with the local council, while Tom Beattie concludes his work on the Black Folder.
- Episode 180 - Uncivil War
Ashwood City enters a dispute with the local council regarding the iBET stand collapse. Meanwhile, Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan makes a significant decision regarding the club's future.
- Episode 179 - The Stand Before Time
After the iBET Stand at Ashwood City Football Club collapses, the club's leadership and the local council argue over responsibility. This episode features the club's staff navigating the aftermath of the incident.
- Episode 178 - Stranger than Fantasy
In this episode of The Offensive, Ashwood City faces a social media controversy mirroring real-world discussions surrounding the football industry. The cast includes Paul Waggott, Adam Jarrell, Joel Emery, and Luke Stevenson.
- Episode 177 - The Great Escape
Following a match against PSG, Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate discusses rumours about the club's future with Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan. This fictional episode is part of the series The Offensive.
- Episode 176 - Blind Tate
In this episode of The Offensive, Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate visits her doctor and an acquaintance to discuss the future of the football club.
- Episode 175 - Nude Awakening
In this episode of The Offensive, a protestor targets Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan, disrupting the daily operations at Ashwood City.
- Episode 174 - Live and Let Liverpool
Ashwood City plays their first home game following a difficult transfer window, hosting Liverpool FC. This fictional episode is written, produced, and performed by the team behind The Offensive.
- Episode 173 - London Calling
Following a difficult transfer window, Sir Patrick Nolan travels to London in search of financial support from long-term associates. This episode of The Offensive features performances from Paul Waggott, Thomas Mitchells, and Adam Jarrell.
- Episode 172 - Deadline Day: Part 2
Ashwood City Football Club faces a major turning point on Deadline Day amid a financial crisis, internal conflict, and player departures. This is the second part of the series covering the club's tumultuous day.
- Episode 171 - Deadline Day: Part 1
Following the departure of striker Kevin, the Ashwood City hierarchy faces protests and remains locked in their offices for safety. This fictional episode explores the fallout of the transfer deadline day.
- Episode 170 - Woody's Roundup
Ashwood City Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall embarks on a scouting trip to find a new player for the January transfer window. This fictional episode is the latest installment of The Offensive.
- Episode 169 - Mixing Business with Pleasure (Beach)
In this episode of The Offensive, Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Patrick Nolan visit Blackpool Pleasure Beach ahead of Ashwood City's FA Cup third-round match against Blackpool.
- Episode 168 - Super Trooper
As the second Dan Watson era begins, Ashwood City prepares for a match against Premier League rival Everton. This episode features performances from Paul Waggott, Helena Doughty, Adam Jarrell, Joel Emery, and Ant McGinley.
- Episode 167 - The Christmas Special One V
In this Christmas special of The Offensive, the cast of Ashwood City returns for a festive episode written by Joel Emery. The episode features contributions from Paul Waggott, Helena Doughty, Adam Jarrell, and members of the show's ensembl…
- Episode 166 - The Damned Re-United: Part 2
In this part of The Offensive, Ashwood City owner Patrick Nolan persists in his efforts to hire Mauricio Pochettino before the World Cup break. Additionally, the staff and team prepare for the international break as they say goodbye to The…
- Episode 165 - The Damned Re-United: Part 1
Ashwood City searches for a new manager leading up to the World Cup break. Meanwhile, Patrick becomes distracted by an old acquaintance.
- Episode 164 - Smit Happens
When Head Coach Eric Van Smit receives unfortunate news, the club must make a decision regarding his position. The episode features the cast and crew of The Offensive.
- Episode 163 - Grand Pricks
Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan and CEO Chris Woodall travel to the US F1 Grand Prix in Austin, Texas. During the trip, developments regarding Club Doctor Rachel Webber cause concerns for Patrick Nolan.
- Episode 162 - Universally Challenged
Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan is offered a government position during a match against Chelsea, presenting him with a chance to gain respect.
- Episode 161 - Flaw and Order
Senior management at Ashwood City face a pre-hearing regarding their legal dispute with Arsenal Football Club following the 2021/22 season. The episode explores the ongoing financial and legal turmoil surrounding the club.
- Episode 160 - Name and Shame
Chairman Patrick Nolan secures a new revenue stream for Ashwood City, resulting in the stadium's first-ever name change. The decision faces significant hostility from stakeholders.
- Episode 159 - Lever Pitch: Part Two
Patrick Nolan attempts to showcase Dartley Park to a potential buyer on the day of Queen Elizabeth II's funeral. This episode is part of the fictional series The Offensive.
- Episode 158 - Lever Pitch: Part One
Ashwood City faces a financial crisis while preparing for a UEFA Champions League match against Barcelona at the Nou Camp. This episode explores the challenges both on and off the pitch.
- Episode 157 - Toon Can Play At That Game
The Super Whites face Ashwood City at St James' Park in a must-win match for the team. This episode is part of the fictional series The Offensive.
- Episode 156 - Deadline Day
As Deadline Day approaches, Ashwood City faces a series of crises, including poor league form and police charges against their Head Coach.
- Episode 155 - A New Leaf
Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan and CEO Chris 'Woody' Woodall discuss club business while visiting the Broadley Country Club. This fictional episode features Patrick Nolan confiding in Woody.
- Episode 154 - Apportunity Knocks
The Ashwood staff are impressed by a successful summer project led by the new Chief Executive Officer. However, Patrick Nolan attempts to undermine the efforts of Chris Woodall and the club staff.
- Episode 153 - 2022/2023 SEASON: The Nolan Era
Ashwood City prepares for the start of the 2022/2023 Premier League season at Dartley Park. Chairman Patrick Nolan and CEO Chris Woodall attempt to manage the club's new era while addressing issues from the previous season.
- Introducing... BOOM Season One | Out now
The creators of The Offensive introduce their new drama series, BOOM, starring Akie Kotabe, Sharon D. Clarke MBE, and Omari Douglas. All six episodes of the first season are now available to stream.
- Episode 152 - Finale: Part 2
In the final episode of The Offensive, Ashwood City faces a critical moment in a must-win match as they defend a 2-1 lead with only 15 minutes left on the clock.
- Episode 151 - Finale: Part 1
Ashwood City faces their final game of the 2021/22 season against Leeds United with Champions League qualification at stake. This fictional drama concludes in the first part of the season finale.
- Episode 150 - All Good Things Come To A Friend
Patrick Nolan secures full ownership of Ashwood City following a victory against Norwich. As the team prepares for final fixtures against Brighton and Leeds, the new ownership makes adjustments to club personnel.
- Episode 149 - Bid Adieu
Patrick Nolan becomes the outright owner of Ashwood City following the sale of Anaheim Sports Group's 55% stake. Meanwhile, the club prepares for a match against Manchester City during their pursuit of Champions League qualification.
- Episode 148 - Manic Room
Following a defeat to Everton, the Ashwood City club faces internal turmoil as Patrick Nolan makes a move to purchase the remainder of the team. This installment of the fictional series explores the reaction from the fanbase and the club's…
- Episode 147 - Sun's Out, Funds Out
Chief Executive Patrick Nolan's vacation is interrupted by a major decision from the United States. This episode of The Offensive features the return of the Ashwood City cast.
- Episode 146 - Force Mature
Ashwood City prepares to face Chelsea FC in the Premier League. The episode features Patrick Nolan, Chris Woodall, Colin Walsh, Theo Clinton, and Jess Tate.
- Episode 145 - Business As Unusual
As the Premier League returns, a familiar face makes a comeback to Ashwood City Football Club in this fictional audio drama. This episode features performances by Paul Waggott, Adam Jarrell, Christopher Swift, and Thomas Mitchells.
- Introducing... Jackie the Ripper Season Two | Out Monday 28th March
The chart-topping comedy drama, Jackie the Ripper, returns for its second season on Monday, March 28th. Listeners are encouraged to catch up on the first season of this retelling of the Whitechapel murders.
- Episode 144 - From Russia with Love
In this episode of The Offensive, Ashwood City Football Club faces new sanctions due to Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's connections to Russian investment. Patrick attempts to negotiate with the UK government to alleviate the restrictions d…
- Episode 143 - Anger Management
Following a 3-0 defeat against West Ham, Sporting Director Chris Woodall holds a squad review in the analysis room with the coaching staff and players. This episode of The Offensive explores the team's reaction to the loss.