The Clopen Effect
Comedy
About
Welcome to The Clopen Effect, a Funny Retail Podcast! Join us every week as we share our lives working in retail. Our lineup features fantastic guests, including local business owners, seasoned retail professionals, and the occasional surprise musician and artist. We're Basically Famous®! “By far the most relatable, humbling, and funniest podcast I’ve ever listened to! It keeps me busy at work, laughing, shaking my head in agreement, and remembering my own wild work stories. And it’s not always just about those crazy shifts—these hilarious women bring so much more. Give them a listen; you won’t be wasting your time!”
Episodes
- Worms Make Me Squirm
This episode of The Clopen Effect discusses food safety failures within the restaurant industry, covering topics like contamination, pests, employee hygiene, and equipment malfunctions. It examines real-world cases impacting major fast-foo…
- Cruisin’ With Enthusiasm
This episode of The Clopen Effect features Meredith's recap of her cruise vacation. The discussion centers on observed passenger behavior, including issues with pool chair saving and buffet etiquette, and contrasts these actions with expec…
- What's a Frunchroom!?
In this episode of The Clopen Effect, hosts review listener responses to Facebook questions, highlighting common themes. The conversation shifts to popular 1990s perfumes, discussing their usage and cultural significance during that decade.
- On the Phone with Author Dana Goldstein
Dana Goldstein, author of the book Spent, joins The Clopen Effect podcast. She discusses her author career, her books being sold at Indigo, and shares some retail stories.
- Once You Go Salon Mackk, You Never Go Back
The Clopen Effect podcast features Melinda, Andie, Karin, and Kristin discussing Salon Mackk. They cover reviews, services, current hair trends, and salon hiring.
- What's in Cass' Lunchbox?
This episode discusses a new glucose monitor and snacks suitable for managing blood sugar, such as nuts, string cheese, apples with peanut butter, hummus, roasted chickpeas, and edamame. The hosts emphasize the importance of protein, fiber…
- Don from Pawstock is here! Woodstock, IL
Don from Pawstock shares his journey in the pet treat industry, focusing on freeze-dried food and educating pet owners on reading ingredient labels. He emphasizes intentional shopping for pet food, drawing from personal experience with pet…
- Hometown Hug(s) with Alex
Alex, owner of Hometown Hug, shares how their welcome baskets introduce over 700 new homeowners annually to local businesses and nonprofits, fostering community connections.
- Kishwaukee Brewing Take Over
Alyssa from The Fiber Fellowship joined the show to discuss their support for local charities and the creation of fidget squares. Cara and Heather from Kishwaukee Brewing Company shared details about upcoming events and recent awards.
- Smokin' Jenuine Coffee
Jen returns to The Clopen Effect for a coffee-centric episode. The discussion includes a coffee brand phrase game and a preview of Jenuine Coffee's new flavors. A giveaway for a Jenuine Coffee basket is also mentioned.
- Blind Date with a Book - Lexie is here!
This episode of The Clopen Effect features guest Lexie on "Blind Date with a Book." The discussion centers on books and the practice of reading the source material before watching its film adaptation. Lexie
- Hardworking Hobbies
The Clopen Effect podcast episode 'Hardworking Hobbies' explores the various activities people engage in outside of their retail jobs. The hosts emphasize that individuals contribute more than just their work in the service industry.
- Home of the Sparrow - Judy and Holly
Judy and Holly from Home of the Sparrow share insights into the organization's mission of providing hope and support for women and children experiencing homelessness. They explain the services offered, including transitional shelter, affor…
- Wild Hunny Boutique - Eat, Shop, Love, Local
Laura, the owner of Wild Hunny Boutique, joins the show to discuss her shop, which offers affordable women's clothing, accessories by local designers, and gifts from local artisans. The episode also features a game where Laura is surprised…
- Stay Warm, Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite
This episode covers various winter inventions discussed by hosts Meredith and Cassandra, including fireplaces, thermoses, wool clothing, snow shovels, remote car starters, ice scrapers, insulated bags, waterproof boots, heated jackets, spa…
- Thankful For You F*ckers 2025
The Clopen Effect's 'Thankful For You F*ckers 2025' episode covers Thanksgiving cooking dangers and other stories. It provides links for show support, merchandise, and a related podcast.
- Bellies Food Truck with Owner Chris
Owner Chris of Bellies Food Truck shares the story behind his business, his family’s involvement, and their menu offerings, including pork belly bites and Cuban sandwiches. The episode features a surprising history quiz with Chris.
- Beavers and Buttglands (What is in our food!?)
This episode of The Clopen Effect covers 40 food additives, explaining their origins and common sources like wood chips and duck feathers. The hosts, who identify as a comedy podcast, acknowledge potential inaccuracies while aiming to info…
- Spooky Ways to Live (Happy Halloween!)
This episode of The Clopen Effect covers 20 rare medical conditions, Meredith's diet, and listener milestones. The hosts, Meredith and Cassandra, also touch on household responsibilities and acknowledge listener support.
- Spooky Season With the Bestie
In this episode of The Clopen Effect, hosts Cassandra, Bestie, and Meredith delve into the grim topic of the worst ways to die in retail. They discuss various workplace accidents, handling the dark subject matter with respect and a Hallowe…
- Haunting Thefts
This episode of The Clopen Effect discusses various forms of theft, including residential burglaries, store robberies, and car break-ins, detailing the most commonly stolen items and their resale value. It also covers the motivations and l…
- Don't Take Candy From Strangers
The Clopen Effect podcast covers the tragic retail disappearances of Adam Walsh in 1981 and Ann Gotlib in 1983. The hosts share key facts and historical context, reflecting on the impact of these cases with their characteristic commentary.
- Spooky Drinking with Devangelist
The Clopen Effect features guest Tim, the Rockstar of Retail. They discuss Tim's bands and share favorite scary movie quotes, with the podcast recording occasionally fading due to a baseball game.
- Bathroom Breaks and Dirty Grapes
The Clopen Effect discusses everyday germs and shares a story about carrying balloons. The episode covers humorous and slightly gross topics.
- Dying to Win (Competitive Eating Contests)
This episode of The Clopen Effect discusses the strange tradition of competitive eating contests worldwide, covering their history, training methods, and potential dangers.
- Rest Stops and Snack Shops
In this episode of The Clopen Effect, hosts discuss road trip experiences, including rest stops, snacks, and games played during car rides. The content is presented by The Clopen Effect.
- Washy Wishes
This episode of The Clopen Effect covers listener-submitted wives' tales and includes a discussion about zoos.
- Fair Food Poisoning
The Clopen Effect discusses their love for food festivals, highlighting popular, iconic, large, quirky, weird, and long-running events, with specific mentions of a local ribfest and the Bristol Renaissance Faire.
- ROY G. BIV
This episode of The Clopen Effect, titled ROY G. BIV, delves into the physiological and psychological effects of colors on the human body. It explains how different colors can influence emotions, heart rate, and purchasing decisions, using…
- Bread Math with Jason
This episode features guest Jason discussing the logistics and math of bread delivery routes. It also includes a fun bread quiz and a surprising personal anecdote from the guest.
- Thifting with Daisy
This episode features guests Mama Brianna and Baby Daisy, discussing the name Daisy and its meaning. It also explores the growing trend of thrift shopping, including consumer spending, popularity with younger generations, popular platforms…
- Cass Goes on Rants
In this episode of The Clopen Effect, Cass recounts a strange customer encounter and the hosts analyze various shopper archetypes and the decline of common courtesy in stores.
- Secret Squirrel 3
In Secret Squirrel 3, an AP expert discusses retail theft, covering the decision-making, boldness, and unusual methods employed by thieves. The episode includes the "Have You Ever?" game and a notable story from the expert.
- Can Someone Please Page My Mental Health?
In this episode of The Clopen Effect, Cassandra recounts a strange customer encounter involving a graphic medical detail. The discussion explores why customers overshare with retail workers, how they have become unintentional emotional sup…
- Vegas Schmegas
The Clopen Effect podcast episode "Vegas Schmegas" features Cassandra's experiences with Vegas heat and an Elvis impersonator, alongside Meredith's amusing misidentification of clothing. The hosts share laughs and personal anecdotes.
- Do Not Engage
This episode discusses the amount of time people spend in their cars daily, calculating how it adds up over a year. The hosts also touch on coffee creamers and future business ventures.
- Who Dun Did It!? The Dry Ice Edition
This episode discusses the dangers of dry ice in a closed vehicle, explaining that it sublimates directly into carbon dioxide gas, which can displace oxygen.
- Gardening Tips and Tricks with The Clopen Gals
The Clopen Gals discuss landscaping trends, HOA regulations, and yard improvements. They cover topics like mulch, HOA disputes, and share gardening tips, including a quiz and information on helicopter seeds.
- Quizzes, Costco and Surgeries
The Clopen Effect episode "Quizzes, Costco and Surgeries" features a grocery word quiz, a discussion on Costco culture, and personal insights into surgery recovery. The hosts share experiences, including aspects not typically discussed.
- The Mattress Money Madness (Our 200th Episode!)
The Clopen Effect celebrates its 200th episode with a discussion about mattresses. The episode description includes various links for supporting the show, purchasing merchandise, and accessing other content.
- Pizza, Pasta, Pope (Episode 199!!)
Meredith and Julia share observations from their Italy trip, discussing pizza, pasta, and the Pope. Cassandra adds Florida-centric anecdotes, creating a lighthearted episode focused on travel stories and cultural differences.
- Spring Awakening with Aeon Lounge
Kristen, owner of Aeon Gallery, joins The Clopen Effect to discuss her Absinthe Lounge's Spring Awakening vendor event on April 27th. They also talk about her haunted photo book and mysterious occurrences.
- The Depresso Espresso Episode
This episode of The Clopen Effect explores the realities of retail careers, mentioning energy, flexibility, and growth. It also includes retail-themed movie quotes and titles.
- Americard VS. Mastercharge (and somehow we talk about diseases, too)
This episode of The Clopen Effect discusses the history of credit cards, covering their invention, predecessors, and appearances in cartoons. It explains the transition from early charge plates to modern payment methods in a lighthearted,…
- The Do’s and Don’ts of Virtual Meetings
This episode discusses the best practices for virtual meetings, covering camera etiquette and when to unmute. It aims to make online calls less awkward and more productive by addressing common issues like talking on mute or multitasking.
- Say Cheese!
This episode delves into the 7,000-year history of cheese, covering its origins, the immense size of the largest cheese wheel, and unusual facts like maggot cheese. The hosts also celebrate wedding anniversaries.
- Chocolate, Chocolate and More Chocolate
This episode traces the history of chocolate, starting with its ancient origins in Mesoamerica and its use by the Olmecs, Mayans, and Aztecs. It details chocolate's arrival and adaptation in Europe and highlights key 19th-century innovatio…
- Happy Valentine's Day - Let's Laugh
The Clopen Effect discusses the stages of grief as they relate to a retail workday, along with other topics like pork shoulder butts, bad drivers, and winter weather. The episode is hosted by The Clopen Effect.
- Staying Awake with Hannah
This episode of The Clopen Effect features Hannah discussing the realities and challenges of overnight work, often referred to as the night shift grind. The episode includes insights and a quiz related to the late-night schedule.
- Sloth Punch Love - Billboards
This episode of The Clopen Effect explores various topics, including billboard advertising, the cost of billboard rentals, and the role of farmers in leasing land for signs. The hosts also discuss celebrity headwear, specifically focusing…