Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups
Psychology & Relationships
About
A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 35 years experience working with people surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner Child Healing, Family of Origin and Self Differentiation. A.J. also works with people surviving a Narcissistic Relationship Breakup or Co-Monbidly both BPD/NPD Breakup and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and much more. https://ajmahari.ca/sessions https://ajmahari.ca/gottatal k - After Hours https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts https://survivngbpdbreakup.com https://survivingaborderline.com https://codependency.ca
Episodes
- BPD Joint Therapy Fantasy BPD Right Fighting Pathological Lying vs Your Eggshell Walking
This episode explores the ineffectiveness of joint therapy in relationships affected by Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), highlighting issues such as codependency, pathological lying, and the cycle of abuse. It suggests separate thera…
- BPD Negative Behavior - Don’t Confront It - What Can You Do_
This episode discusses negative behaviors in relationships with individuals who have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), explaining why confrontation is often ineffective. It suggests admitting powerlessness over the person with BPD as…
- High Functioning Borderlines in Careers vs Relationships
This episode discusses high-functioning Borderline Personality Disorder, contrasting career success with relationship difficulties. It suggests that a high IQ in individuals with BPD may not compensate for a lack of emotional intelligence…
- Co-Parenting or Paralell Parenting With a BPD Ex - Another RollerCoaster
This episode discusses the challenges of co-parenting or parallel parenting with an ex diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It highlights potential issues like unhealthy validation needs and parental alienation, advising s…
- BPD Sudden Discard of Monkey Branching Crushed Future
This episode discusses the BPD sudden discard and 'monkey branching' phenomenon, which can crush future plans and leave individuals experiencing heartbreak, loss, and shame. It touches upon the added pain and confusion these events bring t…
- The Glass Borderline "H*mpty D*mpty" No Real Self
This episode discusses the confusion, rumination, and cognitive dissonance experienced after a Borderline Personality Disorder breakup, focusing on the "Glass Borderline" concept to understand relationship dynamics.
- Reactive Abuse in BPD Partners and Exes
This podcast episode discusses reactive abuse in relationships with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) partners, explaining emotional dysregulation, conflict cycles, and gaslighting. It aims to help survivors differentiate intentional a…
- Misunderstanding BPD Intensity as Love
This episode explains how the intensity of untreated Borderline Personality Disorder is often mistaken for love, exploring emotional flooding, idealization, and the fantasy bond. It aims to provide clarity and compassion for healing after…
- BPD Hypersexuality Is Self-Soothing And You are The Bandage
This episode examines BPD hypersexuality as a coping mechanism for intense emotional distress, rather than promiscuity. It explores the underlying causes like trauma and attachment issues, and explains how this behavior affects both indivi…
- Why BPD Relationships Fail - Repetition Compulsions Projection and Projective Identification
This episode explains how repetition compulsions, projection, and projective identification, rooted in early trauma, create painful relational cycles for individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder. A.J. Mahari discusses how partners…
- Borderline Induced Conversations - When Talking Turns Into Trauma for Codependents
This episode discusses borderline induced conversations, explaining how individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder and codependents engage in trauma-based emotional loops. It covers the nervous system dynamics, reasons for re-engagem…
- Borderline Love a Looping Trap of Deception
This episode discusses Borderline Love as a deceptive trap rooted in fantasy, betrayal, and trauma bonding, affecting individuals with BPD and their partners.
- The Invisible Borderline Man Why Women Don't See Him Coming
This episode discusses the 'Invisible Borderline Man,' examining why women frequently miss the signs of Borderline Personality Disorder in men. It covers cultural expectations, hidden patterns, and codependency that can blind women to earl…
- Borderline Man Unmasked
This episode explores how men with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) differ from women with BPD, emphasizing the need for women to unlearn certain childhood lessons about nurturing to heal from codependency.
- The Broken BPD Man Fantasy
This podcast episode explores the "Broken BPD Man Fantasy," which affects women in relationships with men who have Borderline Personality Disorder. It acknowledges that men and gay men also experience BPD and are part of trauma-bonded rela…
- BPD Love Legacy of Doubt 5 Reasons Why Closure is An Illusion
This episode explains that closure is an illusion in relationships with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), particularly after a breakup, ghosting, or discard. It outlines five reasons why individuals with BPD do not offer closure and w…
- Quiet BPD 10 Reasons Why It Dsstroys Relationships
This episode discusses Quiet BPD, also known as the Discouraged BPD Subtype, and explains how it can destroy relationships. It highlights the difficulty in identifying Quiet BPD in a partner due to internalized symptoms and confusing ghost…
- 10 Ways BPD Relationship Recycling Increases Your Suffering
This episode explores 10 ways BPD relationship recycling amplifies suffering and the trauma bond, causing repeated unhealthy stress and pain. It highlights the necessity of harm reduction, no contact, and personal therapy for individuals w…
- BPD Love is a Reverse Fairytale
This episode discusses how relationships with individuals experiencing untreated Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often resemble a reverse fairytale, starting magically but leading to emotional devastation and trauma bonds. It explain…
- Enmeshed in a BPD Relatioship? 5 Codependent Hooks Fueling Cycles
This episode explores 5 codependent hooks that cause enmeshment in relationships with individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder. It details how trauma-rooted patterns like rescuing, self-abandonment, and fantasy bonding fuel relatio…
- BPD Frustration Intolerance
This episode explains frustration intolerance in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) relationships, detailing how trauma and emotional dysregulation fuel explosive reactions and betrayal cycles. It explores the unsustainable toll these d…
- 7 Reasons Why BPD Relationships Fail
This episode discusses seven key reasons why relationships with individuals experiencing untreated Borderline Personality Disorder frequently end. It aims to provide insight into the intense yet unstable emotional patterns within these rel…
- BPD Mirror Holds No Internal Reflection You are Unseen
This episode details how individuals with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may not truly see their loved ones due to BPD fragmentation. It explains that their "mirror" reflects a distorted image of past relational trauma rat…
- The BPD Love Paradox
This episode of the Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups podcast delves into the 'BPD Love Paradox,' examining why individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder may sabotage deep connections. It discusses concepts like self-fulfilling pr…
- The BPD Fantasy Why Codependents Feel Stuck
This episode discusses the 'BPD Fantasy,' where codependents feel stuck due to the trauma bond created by the idealized version of their partner. It addresses the difficulty of letting go, which can feel like losing one's identity, and enc…
- BPD Fragmented Self Blocks Connection and Communication
This podcast episode explains how a fragmented self in individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder hinders their ability to connect and communicate. It suggests that relationships with BPD often lack mutuality and reciprocity due to t…
- BPD Triggers Explained
This episode explains Borderline Personality Disorder triggers, emotional dysregulation, and splitting. It addresses whether external factors like your actions are truly responsible for an individual's triggered responses.
- Is Codependency Really An Addiction?
This episode addresses whether codependency is an addiction, drawing on 35 years of experience. The host suggests a dual
- BPD Ego Syntonic vs Ego Dystonic & BPD Alloplastic Defenses
This episode discusses BPD ego syntonic vs. ego dystonic and alloplastic defenses, explaining how untreated BPD can cause individuals to use ego syntonic alloplastic defense mechanisms. This often results in partners or friends of those wi…
- Borderline Persecutory Object Invisible Partners and Exes
This episode delves into the psychoanalytic concept of the borderline persecutory object within Object Relations Theory to explain BPD splitting, perception, and repetition compulsions in relationships.
- BPD Misinformation Hurts Borderlines and Codependents
This episode addresses the harmful effects of BPD misinformation on individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder and codependents. It highlights that BPD is influenced by both genetics and environment, and stresses that people with BPD…
- BPD “Remission” Flawed and False Hope
This episode discusses the difficulties in defining and measuring BPD remission, questioning its reliability and helpfulness as a concept for codependents in unhealthy relationships.
- Excusing BPD Behavior is Codependent Externalization
This episode discusses how excusing BPD behavior is a function of codependent externalization, hindering personal responsibility. It emphasizes the importance of therapy for healing, breaking trauma bonds, and learning to meet codependent…
- BPD Sudden Shocking Discard Ex is Alone Now What Can You Do?
This episode discusses the 'sudden shocking discard' in relationships with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It addresses the common concern for the ex-partner's well-being and the desire to help them, exploring why these feelings per…
- Wanting to Make Amends to a BPD Ex is Codependent
This episode explains that attempting to make amends to an Ex with Borderline Personality Disorder is a codependent action and is not recommended. It discusses the risks involved, whether the motivation stems from guilt, recovery programs,…
- Does Going No Contact Make Your BPD Ex Think About You?
This episode discusses the use of no contact after a breakup with a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) ex. It explains that no contact is a tool for personal healing and breaking trauma bonds, not for manipulating the ex. The podcast ad…
- BPD Abuse Called Out is Denied Deflected BPD Lying
This episode discusses how people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may react with denial, deflection, or accusations of victimization when their abusive behavior is called out. It questions whether this stems from memory issues o…
- Wanting a BPD Ex Back The Fantasy Bond & Unanswered Questions
This episode discusses the 'fantasy bond' and unanswered questions that arise when trying to reconcile with an ex who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It explains that the desire to get an ex back and find answers often stems fro…
- Unknowingly Loving a Borderline Suddenly Ghosted
This episode discusses the traumatic experience of being ghosted by someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, especially when unaware of their condition. It addresses the common desire to reconcile and the temporary nature of relief th…
- BPD On/Off Relationship Can You Change To Make It Work?
This episode discusses whether personal change, such as healing codependency, can help make an on/off relationship with someone with BPD work. It addresses feelings of being ghosted or discarded and explores the potential for change within…
- BPD Disconnectedness and Inability To Relate
This episode discusses the profound disconnectedness inherent in Borderline Personality Disorder, explaining how it influences behaviors and the inability to form healthy relationships. The speaker shares insights from their own recovery j…
- Want BPD Ex Back and Holding Out Hope?
This episode addresses the hope of getting back with an ex who has Borderline Personality Disorder, explaining that the relationship is over and discussing the fantasy and trauma bonds that prevent moving on. Therapy is recommended as the…
- BPD Emotional Arrested Development & Object Other Relating
This episode discusses arrested emotional development in Borderline Personality Disorder, explaining how developmental arrest before age two impacts an individual's sense of self and object relating. It highlights the crucial role of early…
- Lost Yourself To A Borderline?
This episode addresses how individuals may lose themselves in relationships with people exhibiting Borderline Personality Disorder. It touches on themes of codependency, personal responsibility, and offers a space to reflect on feelings of…
- BPD Idealization Phase Causes Fantasy Bonding
This episode discusses how Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) idealization forms a fantasy bond in relationships. It explains that once devaluation occurs, re-idealization is impossible, leaving codependents struggling to regain the ini…
- Borderline Betrayal Its Insidious Impact on You
This episode discusses borderline betrayal and its negative impact on individuals, particularly those with codependency. It covers consequences like rumination, cognitive dissonance, self-abandonment, and the difficulty in finding closure…
- BPD Awareness Can't Save Relationships
Intellectual awareness of BPD does not equate to emotional understanding or changed behavior. The episode explains that without therapy, BPD awareness does not save relationships, as emotional triggers can override cognitive understanding,…
- BPD Stable Before Relationship Rupture? Was My Ex Like Sherri Papini?
This episode discusses the perceived stability of individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) within relationships. It addresses whether they are stable until a rupture and if relationship length affects their stability, drawing…
- Borderlines Are Not Relationship Worthy
This episode discusses the challenges individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder face in relationships, citing deficits in selfhood, object constancy, and communication. It suggests psychodynamic therapy is necessary for developing s…
- BPD Breakup Ghost or Discard Is Not Your Fault
This episode addresses BPD breakups, explaining that ghosting or discard is not the listener's fault. It highlights the difficulties individuals with BPD face in relationships due to untreated conditions and codependent dynamics, emphasizi…