Robot Unicorn
Psychology & Relationships
About
Join me, Jess VanderWier, a registered psychotherapist, mom of three, and founder of Nurtured First, along with my husband Scott, as we dive deep into the stories of our friends, favourite celebrities, and influential figures. In each episode, we skip the small talk and dive into vulnerable and honest conversations about topics like cycle breaking, trauma, race, mental health, parenting, sex, religion, postpartum, healing, and loss. We are glad you are here. PS: The name Robot Unicorn comes from our daughter. When we asked her what we should name the podcast, she confidently came up with this name because she loves robots, and she loves unicorns, so why not? There was something about the playfulness of the name, the confidence in her voice, and the fact that it represents that you can love two things at once that just felt right.
Episodes
- How To Be Firm Without Yelling
This solo episode of Robot Unicorn addresses the parenting challenge of being firm without yelling. It provides practical insights for breaking negative cycles and leading children with respectful and calm authority.
- Getting Honest About New Motherhood With Libby Ward
Robot Unicorn features guest Libby Ward discussing her book 'Honest Motherhood.' They cover themes of raising a sensitive baby, navigating parenthood after a traumatic childhood, and dealing with postpartum anxiety.
- Why “Stranger Danger” Doesn’t Protect Kids (Part 3)
This episode of Robot Unicorn concludes a series on child sexual abuse, offering parents practical strategies like conversational games and recognizing behavioral red flags to protect their children. It emphasizes actionable tools for list…
- The Truth About How Child Abuse Stays Hidden (Part 2)
Part 2 of the Robot Unicorn series addresses child sexual abuse and grooming. Hosts Jess and Scott debunk myths and provide parents with red flags to identify and prevent abuse, empowering them to protect their children.
- What Parents Need To Know About Grooming: Protecting Kids (Part 1)
In this episode of Robot Unicorn, hosts Jess and Scott discuss childhood sexual abuse and grooming, emphasizing that abusers are typically known to the child. They explain how abusers exploit power dynamics and suggest using body safety ed…
- Stop Letting the Scale Dictate Your Worth With Dr. Rachel Goldman
In this episode of Robot Unicorn, Jess and Dr. Rachel Goldman explore body neutrality, the pressures of toxic body positivity, GLP-1 medications, and the influence of social media on orthorexia. They also share practical CBT strategies for…
- Brain Stuckness: Reducing Power Struggles & Building Flexibility (Part 2)
Jess and Scott discuss strategies to reduce power struggles and brain stuckness in children. The episode covers toddler self-regulation, the effectiveness of radical honesty in diffusing tension, and how clear communication can prevent def…
- Brain Stuckness: Why Kids Struggle With Flexibility (Part 1)
Jess and Scott discuss
- Why Allowance Is About More Than Money (Part 2)
This episode of Robot Unicorn delves into practical allowance strategies for children, debating the necessity of allowances and exploring methods like the Spend, Save, Give system and the 24-hour rule to teach delayed gratification and fin…
- Does Giving Kids An Allowance Make Them Entitled? (Part 1)
In this episode of Robot Unicorn, Jess and Scott discuss the pros and cons of giving children an allowance. They explore the potential for entitlement, the connection to chores, and how personal experiences influence views on financial edu…
- Why Boredom Matters For Kids (Revisit)
This Robot Unicorn episode revisits the importance of boredom for children's development, discussing the 'Creativity Crisis' and the benefits of unstructured play for both kids and adults.
- Will Daycare Ruin My Child’s Attachment? (Revisit)
Robot Unicorn revisits the debate on whether daycare negatively impacts child attachment. Hosts Jess and Scott discuss parental shame, the stay-at-home vs. working parent debate, and practical advice for maintaining a strong attachment, ac…
- When Is It Okay To Punish Kids? (Revisit)
Robot Unicorn revisits the question of when it is okay to punish children, differentiating between punishment and effective discipline. The hosts challenge common parenting methods and introduce connection-based alternatives like modeling…
- Have Parents Become Too Permissive?
Jess and Scott explore the reasons behind permissive parenting and the importance of setting boundaries. They emphasize the role of parents as confident leaders and suggest that allowing children to face disappointment can be a valuable li…
- Should You Force Your Kids To Do Chores?
This episode of Robot Unicorn features Jess and Scott discussing the role of chores in developing responsibility and life skills. They cover the debate around allowances for chores and suggest methods to encourage intrinsic motivation with…
- When Is It OK To Give In to Tantrums?
Hosts Jess and Scott explore the complexities of giving in to children's tantrums, discussing the balance between boundaries and parental burnout. The episode offers insights into managing different parenting styles and proactive strategie…
- Why Won’t My Child Stop Clinging and Whining?!
This Robot Unicorn episode addresses parental frustration with clingy children, reframing the behavior as a signal. It explores reasons for clinging, like hunger or alarm, and provides strategies for connection, boundaries, and parental se…
- How To Pass Down Family Values
Jess and Scott discuss how family values are demonstrated through daily actions rather than written rules. The episode covers clarifying non-negotiable values, involving children age-appropriately, and understanding the roots of children's…
- What Kids Need Most When Parents Divorce
Jess and Scott discuss divorce and parenting, debunking the myth that staying together is always best for children. They highlight the harm of parental conflict and explain how conflict shielding and a stable, loving environment with one c…
- How Can I Reduce My Anger and Annoyance As A Highly Sensitive Parent? (Revisit)
Jess and Scott revisit an episode on managing anger for highly sensitive parents. They discuss Scott's experience losing his cool with his toddler, the traits of highly sensitive people, and practical coping tips like sensory breaks and se…
- Forcing Kids To Do Hard Things: Raising Resilient Kids Who Can Tolerate Frustration (Revisit)
Robot Unicorn revisits the topic of encouraging children to face challenges, exploring the distinction between fostering potential and pushing too hard. The hosts share personal insights on resilience and managing frustration in kids, refl…
- How To Create Healthy Screentime Habits with Dr. Michael Robb
Dr. Michael Robb joins Jess to discuss creating healthy screen time habits for children. The conversation emphasizes focusing on what screen time displaces, like play and sleep, over counting minutes. Strategies for setting boundaries, nav…
- How To Raise Kind Kids Who Aren’t People Pleasers
This episode explores how to raise children who are both kind and assertive, distinguishing between true kindness and people-pleasing. Hosts Jess and Scott offer practical advice, like role-playing and scripts, to help kids establish bound…
- Raising Sensitive Kids To Be Resilient And Confident (Part 3)
In the final part of a series on sensitive kids, Jess and Scott explore practical strategies for nurturing children's sensitivity and confidence. They discuss scaffolding, the debate around validating feelings, and reframing sensitivity as…
- Rejection Sensitivity And Discipline For Sensitive Kids (Part 2)
Jess and Scott explore the orchid vs. dandelion child metaphor and rejection sensitivity, offering connection-based strategies to help sensitive children thrive. They explain why common advice to "toughen up" is harmful, particularly for b…
- Is My Child Highly Sensitive? (Part 1)
Part 1 of the sensitive kids series explores the innate temperaments of highly sensitive children, explaining that sensitivity is an innate trait. The hosts discuss nurturing resilience and the overlap between high sensitivity and ADHD dia…
- In-Laws Stressing You Out? An Expert's Guide To Setting Boundaries
Psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish joins Robot Unicorn to discuss managing in-law stress by setting boundaries. The episode covers the definition of boundaries, fostering a united front with partners, and strategies for family events.
- How Do I Stop My Child From Whining?
This episode of Robot Unicorn discusses the parental reaction to whining and offers strategies for managing one's own nervous system to address the underlying needs of the child.
- “I Only Want Mommy!!”: Understanding Parental Preference
This episode of Robot Unicorn discusses why children develop a preference for one parent. Hosts Jess and Scott delve into attachment theory, developmental research, and family dynamics to explain the influences on this preference and offer…
- Friendship For Girls: Drama, Cliques, And Learning To Belong
This episode of Robot Unicorn discusses the intense nature of friendship conflicts for young girls, covering relational aggression like gossip and exclusion. Hosts offer insights and tips for parents to support their daughters in developin…
- How To Use Playfulness As A Powerful Parenting Tool
Jess and Scott discuss how parents can use playfulness to improve communication and cooperation with their children. The episode covers the brain science of play and provides strategies for maintaining boundaries while being playful.
- Q&A: ADHD, Skeptical Partners, and Staying Connected After Kids
Robot Unicorn addresses listener questions about ADHD, navigating skeptical partners, and staying connected as parents. The hosts share personal experiences with neurodivergence and the challenges of children growing up, offering insights…
- “I’m Being Consistent With My Discipline - Why Isn’t It Working?”
Jess and Scott discuss 'flexible consistency' in parenting, emphasizing adapting to a child's needs while maintaining boundaries. They explore understanding behavior as communication by looking at factors like temperament and skills gaps,…
- How To Handle Big After-School Meltdowns
This episode discusses 'After-School Restraint Collapse,' where children fall apart at home after behaving well at school. Hosts Jess and Scott offer strategies like co-regulation and creating a 'soft landing' to help children decompress a…
- Why Are Some Kids So Strong-Willed And Stubborn!? (REVISIT)
This episode revisits the topic of strong-willed children, with hosts Scott and Jess adding new commentary and practical, respectful strategies. The goal is to help parents understand their child's nature, foster cooperation, and build a s…
- How To Talk To Kids About Death, Suicide, And Other Difficult Topics
In this episode of Robot Unicorn, hosts Jess and Scott provide guidance on discussing difficult topics like death, suicide, divorce, and tragedy with children. Drawing on personal experience and professional expertise, they discuss common…
- Letting Kids Use AI: Smart Move Or Serious Mistake?
This episode features Jess interviewing Scott about the complexities of AI safety for children. They explore the different types of AI kids encounter and the potential psychological risks involved, aiming to help parents navigate this new…
- Are You On Your Phone Too Much In Front Of Your Kids?
Jess and Scott discuss the challenges parents face with phone usage and its impact on children, the 'digital still face' effect, and the addictive nature of apps. The episode offers strategies for reducing screen time and improving family…
- “But My Friend’s Parents Let Them…Why Can’t I?”
This episode of Robot Unicorn addresses the common parenting dilemma of children comparing their rules to friends'. It offers strategies for setting boundaries, communicating rules effectively, and fostering a collaborative family environm…
- Biblical Discipline, Deconstruction, And Belonging with Kate Bowler
Jess and Kate Bowler discuss parenting, faith, and religious deconstruction, including the history of discipline and the concept of inherent sinfulness in children. The conversation explores questioning beliefs and finding a faith based on…
- Should We Force Kids To Say Sorry And Forgive Each Other?
This episode of Robot Unicorn discusses the ineffectiveness of forced apologies and forgiveness in children, suggesting alternative empathy-building strategies like action-oriented repair for genuine understanding.
- The Impact Of Birth Order: What All Parents Need To Understand
This episode of Robot Unicorn debunks common birth order myths, presenting research that shows minimal impact on personality and intelligence. Hosts Jess and Scott emphasize the greater influence of genetics, socioeconomic status, and pare…
- The Tween Years: Peers, Embarrassment, And Belonging
Jess and Scott discuss common tween challenges including peer dynamics, the search for identity, and adolescent brain development. They offer advice on how parents can adapt their approach to coaching rather than managing and maintain conn…
- Everyone Needs Me—But I'm Drowning
This Robot Unicorn episode, inspired by a listener's email, addresses undiscussed aspects of parenting. Jess and Scott discuss realistic self-nurturing strategies for burnt-out parents, differentiating between tiredness and burnout, relati…
- What Every Parent Needs To Know About Sibling Conflict
This episode of Robot Unicorn addresses sibling conflict, offering insights into toddler and preschooler developmental science and advising parents to shift from a 'referee' to a 'coach' role. It provides practical strategies for managing…
- The Truth Behind Swearing And Rude Language In Kids
This episode of Robot Unicorn explores why children use swearing and rude language, explaining it as a normal developmental phase. Hosts Jess and Scott offer strategies for parents to respond effectively, discuss the link with ADHD, and ex…
- Are Timeouts Really Evidence-Based?
Robot Unicorn hosts Jess and Scott investigate the evidence behind timeouts, discussing how their common application might negatively impact child-parent bonding and hinder the development of emotional regulation. The episode suggests deve…
- The Research All Parents Need To Know About Punishments
Jess and Scott discuss research on parenting disciplines, including spanking and bribes, highlighting the benefits of authoritative parenting which balances warmth with structure for cooperative children.
- The Impact Of Social Media, Gaming And Smartphones On Kids
This episode of Robot Unicorn discusses the impact of social media, gaming, and smartphones on children. Hosts Jess and Scott provide research-backed concerns and practical advice for parents and educators on setting boundaries and modelin…
- Impulse Control: What Every Parent Needs To Know
Jess and Scott discuss the science of impulse control in children, covering brain development and offering parents practical, science-backed strategies to support their kids and manage impulsive behaviors effectively.