Regular Features
Comedy
About
Steve, Log, Joe, Matt and Gav present the podcast that's the same every week
Episodes
- 619: Ape. Goblin. Horse. In That Order.
Joe can't stand the attention a 100 year-old is getting. Matt can't stand up, because his microphone is simply too low. Log can't stand down from his duty to inform you about horsebook.
- 618: A1(M) Syndrome
Are YOU afraid of Paris? Are YOU afraid of the A1(M)? Are YOU afraid of poorly executed jingle work? Well don't YOU have fat luck, because this episode is going to cause you to faint, die, come back to life, and then die again when you rem…
- 617: A Big Ol' Mind Flush
This week Log discovers audio books, Steve's had a camera up his arse and Gav could do with a camera in his brain. DISCLAIMER: the hosts of Regular Features are NOT doctors so please don't listen to their medical advice no matter how adama…
- 616: Scream If You Want Bill Oddie's Tubby Toast
What's that in your mouth? Drop it! Give it here. Oh, it's an episode of the Regular Features podcast. In this one, Log gives Bill Oddie his flowers, Joe treats us to a day in the life of a ghost-face killer, and Steve shares his numerous…
- 615: Robot Uncle Merkel Carer
This episode of Regular Features is funded in part by the British Associate of Uncles (BAU), because if it's not your mother's brother, well what the hell are we even doing here. In this one, Joe's got robot hoover problems, Log wants to k…
- 614: Quiet Little Trash Boy
Hello this is the news. In the past hour United Nations has announced that we have flopped through a temporal squirmhole into the rotten Time Dimension, and that we had better get used to living under the autocratic regime of supreme leade…
- 613: Lumps, and the Men Who Have Them
To listen to this podcast, you must solve a riddle: What goes on four feet in the morning, two feet at noon, and three feet in the evening? Stumped? The answer is that it is a dog who, just before 12pm, decides to pretend to be a human so…
- 612: The Ramblemas 2026
2026! The future! What will it bring? Cool-ass sunglasses probably?? According to the thumbnail of this podcast - yes! But also, here's another edition of our RAMBLEMAS tradition where we record solo features and whack em all together like…
- 611: Krangle's Secret Foot Thing
Yuletide, I'll tide, we'll all tide, for yuletide. That's the Regular Features promise to you, on this, the most Jesus day of the Formula 1 race calendar. On this day in 1952, our lord and saviour got born out of a forgotten easter egg in…
- 610: Bees Behaving Badly
This one was recorded in person so we got 1. very excited and 2. very naughty. No presents for us this year hahahahahdds
- 609: The Four Elements - Bees, Horses, Eggs, Crabs
I'm sick! I'm so sick! I'm being sick! *BLUUURGH* I just vomited out Joe's will! *BAAAAARF* Oh, out comes some Google reviews Steve saw! *GLOOORP* And that's Log's dog walk adventures. I think it's all out now, I think I'm OK now- *GAAAAAA…
- 608: The Buerk Ultimatum
In this episode, something's got under Steve's skin, something's got out of Log's bottom, and something's threatening to explode in Joe's mouth. It's very much a "well that's certainly something" kind of an episode. And will we apologise f…
- 607: Scan My Secret Big Boy
Do you think Pliny the Elder and Pliny the Younger ever had a magic act where Pliny the Elder would climb into a big wooden box with whatever the Latin is for "PLINY THE ELDER'S DE-AGING DEVICE" written on it. Then Pliny the Younger would…
- 606: Slinging Fish on the Beach
I really have to encourage you to listen to this, because Log makes a whimsical guess during the second feature and it's honestly astonishing stuff. Elsewhere, Joe gets into advertising (again), Matt's been watching strangers on the beach…
- 605 - Money, Speed And Scandal
When she saw me running backwards and forwards and getting confused, shouting "oh no I can't organise my thoughts because I'm running backwards and forwards and getting confused", my grandmother used to put a hand on my shoulder and say "m…
- 604: Normal Irishmen in the Microwave
Oh my goodness, you STINK. Get in the bath immediately. I cannot BELIEVE how often I have to scrub the stink off of you in this bath. Urgh, first I need to scrape off this outer layer of Gavin, who has clearly been equating figures of Iris…
- 603: The Bus That Couldn't Remember His Name
Take a little pinch of Regular, and a heaped teaspoon of Features. Pre-heat the oven. Sorry I was supposed to tell you to do that first. Unpinch the Regular and tip the Features back into the Feature Scuttle. Now that your hands are free,…
- 602: Rocky DCII SUBTITLE Freezin' My Dolemites Off
Oh, it's a bad day to be a dolemite! But possibly a good day if you're a children's book or someone called "Rocky Balboa".
- 601: Proud Beethoven Chairs
Welcome back to Britain's LEAST acclaimed podcast. It's Regular Features, gab nab it, and it's the only podcast on the web as far we know. In this episode, Steve has an update from the British Podcast Awards. Log measures our pride with a…
- 600: A Normal Hot NIght
We can't believe we're the first ever podcast to reach Episode 600. Feels a bit weird tbh. But thank YOU, dear readers, for supporting us all these years and for keeping this runaway train of nonsense chugging along and stocked up with coa…
- 599: Scandalous Bird House
Whaaah it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, I'm sure. Who me? Whah ah am the most readily scandalised debutante in all of Mississippi. A single nod from a brute would be enough to butter my teacakes and make my shadow scurry up my ga…
- 598: Luton Candy Pig
Open wide, it's time for podcasts. In this episode, Joe recounts the story of a man who drove his car into where a multi-storey car park wasn't, Steve invites us on a tour of Candyman's factory, and Log lists the animals of his local city…
- 597: The Uncles and Birds Special
Whether you're looking for the hottest new magpie or the latest dad's brother, the Regular Features podcast is your one stop shop for all things birds AND uncles. So come on down to this episode. The uncles and birds are waiting... for you…
- 596: Ryan Coogler Bebop Bugler
Hello and welcome to the only podcast that is "Regular Features". In this episode, Joe samples forbidden chlorinated delicacies of the new world, Ryan Coogler bugles his way into and out of yet another scrape, and Steve wonders what if Beb…
- 595: Galactic Pantry Mystic Murder
Welcome back to the Regular Features podcast, the only podcast that enters your dreams every night to chase you around a big hedge maze. And when you wake up there are hedge clippings under your pillow. And when you shake your husband awak…
- 594: Big Smoky Porcupines Hit Tinkletown
It's another quiet day in the Regular Features stock market today, and OH MY GOD THE FEATURES INDEX IS CRASHING. Put in a big buy order for Log talking about Tinkletown! Sell your stocks in Pope futures, because Joe's lifting the lid on a…
- 593: Eighty Litre Grief Hole
Mmm, we have just baked a delicious episode. Now to leave it cooling on the windowsill with all delicious smell lines coming out of it. We hope there are no hungry readers hiding in our begonias. HEY. In this SPECIAL two-boy episode, Joe a…
- 592: BAFTA The Future
This week we preview the 2025 Video Games BAFTA Awards one whole week after they've been announced. How did we manage such a time-bending feat? We're not quite sure ourselves.
- 591: Bingo Bango, It's the Double Twoboy Tango
Four podcasters, two pairings, one episode. Joe and Gav face off against Matt and Log in a barely conceived concept episode. Do not adjust your set, because your set doesn't control podcasts.
- 590: Spider Gobblin' Flamingos
In this episode, Log is up for a BAFTA, which looks like you're SHOUTING it because it's an ACRONYM. For the sake of making each of our features sound equally prestigious: Steve is talking about EARWAX, and Joe suspects somebody might be t…
- 589: Snins of Our Features
Hi, I'm Joe Skrebels. I just want you to know that I downloaded the public domain image used as art for this episode of the podcast before I realised it looked like me on that sled. I want to make it very clear that I did not teleport back…
- 588: Rock vs Electric
Welcome to Regular Features, the only podcast that's been clinically proven to be both big AND clever. In this week's episode, teenage Steve gets a visit from The Rock out of Wrestling, Matt intrudes into the personal doings of a Pikachu,…
- 587: Mavis Beacon Teaches Bonka Bonka
Are you a victim of shiny ham? Did you think it was like shiny beef (which is fine), ate it, and your hands fell off? Then are we the legal team for you! We will personally sue the pig who produced your ham that went shiny. If they're alre…
- 586: Goosegate Horsefly
Hello, my name is Betty Boop, the owner of the Regular Features podcast. I am 95 years old but still as sprightly as a bag of Tennessee pickles. Teehee. Anyway it is my pleasure to welcome you to another episode I suppose. In this one, Ste…
- 585: Three Better Men
This week Bobby Williams' monkey movie has a grip on the Regular Features boys however one of the lads refuses to be caught up in the zeitgeist and has done a feature about Family Fortunes or summin'. This episode of the podcast is dediate…
- 584: Whooping Hoof Heraldry
New year, new you? No! Old year, OLD YOU. Open up those earholes and let us slither on in again, like you always do. Change is for the weak. Continuing to listen to Regular Features is strength. Phwoar. Look at you. Have you been working o…
- 583: The Rambuary Spectacular
This year instead of our annual Ramblemas Special, we bring you the inaugural Regular Features Rambuary Spectacular.
- 582: It's a Box of Oats
Come and get your oats, mother. I have prepared the oats for thee. They are in the garage, mother. I have set the oats on the floor, behind the Citroen. Pay no heed to the engine noise, mama. Consume the oats and be satisfied. Oh mother, i…
- 581: It's Oat So Quiet
I'm uploading this from America, which means that you should now be seeing Coca-Cola streaming from the USB port of your phone. That's free Coca-Cola, so don't miss out. It's going in your shoe! It's going in your shoe!! You got Coca-Cola…
- 580: Well, Well, Well.
This week Joe has a bone to pick with Gav and it's nothing to do with the fact that Gav saw King Charles the other day and didn't spit at him. Matt also invites you to enjoy a game show he's made about a well. Like what the title and the a…
- 579: Tostada Toilet Playground Cats
Hello, this is an episode Regular Features. Please remain seated until your group number is called. In this episode, Log's friend Wolf Blitzer dispenses with his unruly cats. Matt dispenses playground justice. Steve dispenses a helicopter…
- 578: Fresh Prince of Hilaire
In this episode, Log gets a cease and knock-it-off from the estate of a former member of house of the England parliament of the member of the right honourable house of members of the house... in Britain! And Steve's friend has been rubbing…
- 577: Wicker Enya Nessun Dorma
Horpen up your gorp and slorp it orp, friend, it's a new episode of Regular Features, the podcast that just won't stop. If we stop doing it, we die! In this episode, Steve experiences a sensory deprivation tank. Log's friend visits a myste…
- 576: Carrott and Stick
Autoglass repair? Okay cool, yeah I'm into this. I'm buying what you're selling. I'm picking up what you're putting down. A repaired windshield, well who could say no to that? What a deal! My beautiful original windshield, restored to its…
- 575: Come Come Cotswold Cradle Curse
It's another episode of Regular Features, the podcast named "top result" by Spotify when you search for Regular Features in the podcasts section. In this episode, Steve writes an entirely original screenplay for an action movie. Joe dives…
- 574: Legal Sky Eggs
Uptown girl? Yeah, last I heard she's been living in that uptown world. At least that's what everyone's been saying. Apparently she comes home at all hours of the night, stinking of uptown. What's uptown? Not much town, what's up with you!…
- 573: Bring Cigs
Readers! No! Get away from that. You can't have that, it's poison. It's poison to readers. You wouldn't like it. In this episode, Steve got a mpox jab, Joe got a birthpaper, and Log starts sleeping in his talk. Wow.
- 572: Paiging Sleepy Waymo
We do our best, and so do you. Good. Good you!!! In this episode, Steve talks frankly too much about his trip to America. And Log embarks on a mission to be "read out" on the radio.
- 571: Olympic Tate Gas
We can't keep meeting like this!! In this episode, Joe wonders what would happen if you did a wet space in orbit. Log ponders on Andrew Tate's beautiful penis. Steve recounts the time we went to the Olympics... and won!
- 570: Thank Goodness You're Richard Simmons
Knock knock, open wide, see what's on the other side. Knock knock, any more, come with me through the magic door... of Regular Features! In this episode, Log finds out once and for all who dogs love the most, then reveals some behind-the-s…