Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy
Religion & Spirituality
About
Looking for answers to the questions you don't want to Google? Not sure where to get help when your sexual life is on the rocks and everything the secular culture has to offer is only making things worse? Welcome to Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy where you learn to actually enjoy and desire good, holy sex with your spouse. Hosted by Ellen Holloway, Catholic Sex and Intimacy Coach. Formerly, this podcast was named Charting Toward Intimacy.
Episodes
- What Bluey Can Teach You About Your Sex Life | Ep. 270
In this episode, Ellen Holloway explores how the children's cartoon "Bluey" can provide insights into enhancing a couple's sex life. She highlights how brief, daily moments of connection can positively impact marriage and intimacy.
- Pillow Talk and Dirty Talk | Ep. 269
This episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy features Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes discussing the role of verbal communication during sex. They explore how talking can foster presence and connection, differentiate between supportiv…
- What are Women Saying About Want it and Enjoy it? | Bonus
This bonus episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy shares feedback from women in the 'Want it and Enjoy it' course, highlighting their positive experiences and offering encouragement to those considering joining.
- You Were Made for More Than Just a "Fine" Sex Life | Ep. 268
In episode 268 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, Ellen Holloway argues that settling for a "fine" sex life leads to disconnection. She encourages listeners to reconsider their definition of "fine" and explores how desire, pleasure, and exci…
- Your Sex Life Won't Fix Itself | Ep. 267
Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes discuss the common reasons couples avoid improving their sex lives, such as waiting for a different season of life, blaming a spouse, or attributing issues to hormones. The hosts encourage taking respon…
- How to Fix Mismatched Libidos | Ep. 266
In episode 266 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, Ellen Holloway addresses the issue of mismatched libidos between spouses. She explains how sexual enjoyment impacts desire and suggests practical approaches such as creating an intimacy menu…
- I Thought I Would Be Fine Never Having Sex Again | Ep. 265
In episode 265 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, Ellen Holloway shares her experience navigating purity culture messages and discovering the goodness and enjoyment of sex within her marriage.
- The #1 Reason You Can't Stay Present In Sex | Ep. 264
This episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy discusses "spectatoring," a mental habit that prevents presence during sex, particularly among women. Host Ellen Holloway explores contributing factors like purity culture and anxiety, and offer…
- What Purity Culture Got Right (and of course what it got wrong) | Ep. 263
In this episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes examine what purity culture may have gotten right, while also exploring its negative impacts and how fear-based messages about sex can affect intimacy in…
- Do You Have Responsive or Spontaneous Desire? | Ep. 262
In episode 262 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, Ellen Holloway clarifies the distinction between spontaneous and responsive desire, explaining how recognizing one's primary desire style can reduce marital frustration. The episode offers gu…
- Stop Outsourcing Your Desire | Ep. 261
In this episode, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes explore the impact of romance novels and popular media on female desire and marital intimacy. They discuss how directing sexual anticipation towards fictional characters can affect conn…
- Your Sleep is Ruining Your Sex Life (and how to fix it) | Ep. 260
This episode discusses the link between sleep deprivation and reduced libido in women, explaining how exhaustion triggers survival mode. It provides guidance on necessary sleep amounts, particularly during pregnancy and postpartum, and sug…
- We have a new name!
The podcast Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, aimed at Catholic women, discusses improving sex life and marriage. This episode announces a new name for the show.
- You Need to Start Pursuing Your Husband | Ep. 259
In episode 259 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes discuss the belief that husbands should always be the pursuers in marriage. They explain why wives are also called to pursue, touching on spiritual roots,…
- Scheduling Sex is Not the Same as Cleaning the Bathroom | Ep. 258
This episode discusses how to avoid scheduled sex becoming a burden by exploring mindset shifts and offering practical tools to foster anticipation and connection.
- Resentment is Killing your Libido | Ep. 258
In episode 258 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes discuss how resentment in marriage negatively impacts intimacy and libido. They share personal stories and spiritual insights, offering practical methods…
- Is Stopping Sex Because of Pain a Sin? | Ep. 257
This episode discusses whether stopping sex due to pain is a sin, explaining that it is not sinful if the intention was to complete the act. It highlights the importance of addressing the root causes of painful sex, the pain-fear-tension c…
- Why isn't Sex Easier? | Ep. 256
In episode 256 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes discuss the spiritual aspects of intimacy, the negative impact of deception, and how marital struggles can be a sign of holiness. They offer practical adv…
- Why Learning About Sex Isn’t Changing Your Marriage | Ep. 255
This episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy features Ellen Holloway explaining that understanding sex doesn't inherently transform a marriage. She highlights the importance of the nervous system, emotional safety, and her program, 'Want I…
- How to Actually Enjoy Sex | Ep. 254
In episode 254, Ellen Holloway addresses difficulties in enjoying sex, examining physical, emotional, and mental obstacles and Catholic guilt. She explains pleasure as part of God's design and offers practical advice on body literacy and e…
- How to Actually Want Sex | Ep. 253
In episode 253 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, Ellen Holloway discusses common struggles Catholic wives face with sexual desire. She identifies five desire blocks and outlines three foundational pillars to cultivate lasting sexual desire,…
- A Touched Out Body Can't Be A Turned On Body | Ep. 252
Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes discuss the 'touched out' sensation in Ep. 252 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy. They explore its causes, why partners may not understand it, and offer communication strategies and practical tools like g…
- Disappointment and Your Sex Life | Ep. 253
This episode discusses how disappointment and unmet expectations can negatively impact a person's sex life, leading to resentment and withdrawal. Host Ellen Holloway provides communication strategies and mindset shifts to help protect inti…
- NFP is Not the Problem | Ep. 251
Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes discuss the idea that NFP isn't the issue in Catholic marriages, but rather a lack of non-sexual intimacy. The episode provides practical advice for couples to build emotional connection.
- The Immaculate Conception is a Celebration of the Marital Act | Ep. 250
This episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy explores the Feast of the Immaculate Conception by examining the sexual union that conceived Mary. Host Ellen Holloway reflects on Anne and Joachim's openness to grace and how it affirms the dig…
- Stop Expecting Mind Reading | Ep. 249
This episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy discusses the damaging expectation of mind-reading in marriage. Host Ellen Holloway explains how this belief hinders true intimacy and emphasizes the importance of clear communication regarding…
- When Pleasure Doesn't Feel Holy | Ep. 248
In "When Pleasure Doesn't Feel Holy," Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes discuss the distinction between eroticism and holy sex, referencing Dr. Gregory Popcak's "Holy Sex." They explore how cultural factors like purity culture and shame…
- How Do We Make Time for Sex? | Ep. 247
In episode 247 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, host Ellen Holloway addresses the challenge of making time for sex within busy modern schedules. She provides practical strategies for prioritizing intimacy, suggesting that intentional plann…
- How Body Image Affects Your Sex Life | Ep. 246
This episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy features Ellen and Kathleen discussing how negative body image affects a woman's sex life and intimacy within her marriage. They explore spiritual aspects, the impact of self-hatred, and practic…
- When Abstinence is Long-Term | Ep. 245
This episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy discusses managing long-term abstinence in marriage, offering guidance on finding deeper connection and peace with God's plan amidst challenges like pregnancy, illness, or painful sex.
- Modesty in Marriage | Ep. 244
This episode discusses modesty in marriage, addressing lingering purity culture messages and their impact on confidence and intimacy. It offers guidance on finding a virtuous balance, dressing confidently, and embracing beauty within the c…
- Where Did My Libido Go? | Ep. 243
This episode discusses why Catholic women may struggle with sexual desire, explaining spontaneous and responsive desire. It offers practical advice for wives to enhance arousal, emotional intimacy, and align their sex lives with Catholic t…
- Tips for Clean Up | Ep. 242
In this episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes offer practical advice on post-sex cleanup, including managing UTIs, drips, and lube, to reduce stress and increase confidence for married couples.
- How to Get Back in the Mood When Sex Gets Derailed | Ep. 241
This episode offers practical mindset strategies for Catholic wives to address interrupted intimacy and regain desire amidst distractions like children or discomfort. It focuses on refocusing attention on husbands and prioritizing marriage…
- What is Edging? | Ep. 240
This episode of Charting Toward Intimacy defines edging and explores its potential benefits for enhancing pleasure, comfort, and unity within a marriage, while emphasizing alignment with Catholic teachings.
- What is the Male Equivalent of Flowers? | Ep. 239
In episode 239 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, hosts Ellen and Kathleen discuss the male equivalent of flowers. They emphasize pursuing husbands with small, thoughtful gestures that make them feel seen and loved, suggesting that men may a…
- What does the Church Teach About Female Orgasm? | Ep. 238
This episode discusses the Catholic Church's teachings on female orgasm, clarifying moral permissibility and the significance of female pleasure in marriage. It aims to dispel myths and provide guidance for spouses on fostering unity and e…
- How Open to Life Do We Really Need to Be? | Ep. 237
This episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, titled "How Open to Life Do We Really Need to Be?", features Ellen and Kathleen discussing the challenges of fertility decisions from a Catholic perspective. They explain that openness to life…
- Arousal Doesn't Just Happen To You | Ep. 236
In episode 236 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, host Ellen Holloway discusses the myth that arousal happens passively, explaining it as an active process. She offers practical strategies for inviting desire and enhancing intimacy, emphasiz…
- What Do We Need to Figure Out to Make Sex Amazing? | Ep. 235
Episode 235 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy discusses how couples can make sex amazing by addressing key issues to avoid disagreements and dissatisfaction, while remaining faithful to Catholic teaching. Support is available through the "Wa…
- Is It Selfish To Put All My Focus On Myself In Order To Orgasm? | Ep. 234
This episode discusses the idea of focusing on oneself for orgasm within marriage, explaining it as an essential part of mutual self-gift rather than selfishness. It highlights vulnerability, presence, and receiving pleasure as vital for d…
- What to do When Sex Has Become Unintentionally Transactional | Ep. 233
This episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy addresses transactional sex within marriage. Hosts Ellen and Kathleen share personal experiences and offer practical advice, such as understanding love languages and scheduling intimacy, to help…
- Why it Bothers Us So Much When He Asks, "So...When Are We Gonna Have Sex?" | Ep. 232
This episode addresses marital intimacy in the context of Catholic teaching, offering support for wives who feel unseen or pressured when their husbands initiate discussions about sex. It aims to help listeners shift their mindset, communi…
- How the Temperaments Affect Your Sex Life (part 2) | 231
Episode 231 of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy discusses how the four temperaments impact marital intimacy and communication. Hosts Ellen and Kathleen analyze challenges and strengths of each temperament pairing, offering advice for Catholic…
- Pregnancy Does Not Need to be the End of Pleasurable Sex | Ep. 230
This episode shares a personal story about maintaining intimacy during pregnancy, focusing on exploring new positions to enhance sexual satisfaction while adhering to Catholic teachings. Resources for improving your sex life are available.
- Why Does Sex Have to End PIV if We're Infertile? | Ep. 229
This episode discusses the Catholic Church's teaching that sexual intercourse must conclude with male ejaculation inside the vagina, regardless of infertility, menopause, or pregnancy. It explores the theological and symbolic meanings of t…
- You're Probably Hormonally Dysregulated | Ep. 228
This episode discusses how everyday habits influence brain chemistry and hormones such as dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and cortisol. It focuses on the negative effects of dopamine and cortisol on marital intimacy and provides practical a…
- Future You Has An Amazing Sex Life | Ep. 227
This episode focuses on improving your sex life within Catholic teachings. It features a mental exercise to help listeners envision and achieve their desired sexual fulfillment by shifting thoughts and beliefs, suggesting the gap to your '…
- Why Can't We Get a Vasectomy? | Ep. 226
This episode discusses the Catholic Church's stance against permanent sterilization like vasectomies, examining the teachings on sex, marriage, and the moral considerations involved.
- Sex is Not a Spectator Sport | Ep. 225
This episode discusses overcoming 'spectator mode' during intimacy, where overthinking hinders enjoyment. It offers practical steps for Catholic wives to become fully present, focus on sensations, and improve their sex life while adhering…