Parenting Without Power Struggles
Kids & Family
About
Susan Stiffelman is a family therapist, parent coach, and one of the country's premiere parenting experts, and the author of Parenting Without Power Struggles and Parenting With Presence (an Eckhart Tolle edition.) Susan's podcasts feature conversations with guests including Dr. Dan Siegel, Janet Lansbury, Dr. Kristen Neff, Dr. Mona Delahooke, Glennon Doyle, Dr. Jane Goodall, Jack Kornfield, Martha Beck, and many others.
Episodes
- 1: 71 Encore episode: A Conversation With Dr. Kristin Neff
In this conversation, Susan and Dr. Kristin Neff talks about the importance of cultivating both fierce and tender self-compassion, offering specific practices that parents can easily use when they're feeling overwhelmed, angry, or simply b…
- 1:79 Co-Parenting with a Narcissist, with Dr. Ramani Durvasula
In this episode, Susan talks with Dr. Ramani Durvasula, author of author of the new book, It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People , as well as the books Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Surviving A Relationship With A N…
- 2:10 Five Principles of Parenting with Aliza Pressman
Susan talks with Dr. Pressman about the five guiding principles for raising a good human: relationships, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair. They stress the importance of being a "good enough" parent, rather than striving for perfec…
- 3:48 The Uncomfortable Path to Resilience
Resilience isn't a trait kids either have or don't — it's something they build through repeated experiences of feeling hard emotions and getting through them, with a present and steady parent by their side. In this episode, Susan Stiffelma…
- 3:46 "I Didn't Mean to Say That!"
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- 3:45 Captain of the Ship Meets IFS
In this episode, Susan is joined by Lisa Spiegel, author of Internal Family Systems Therapy with Children , for a conversation about how understanding our "parts" can transform our parenting life. They explore what it means to be Self-led,…
- 3:44 When Kids Turn to Chatbots for Emotional Support
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- 3:43 Sparks of Joy in Everyday Parenting
In this podcast, Susan explores the quiet, everyday joy that often gets lost in the stress, demands, and constant pressures of parenting—and why these small moments of happiness are essential for both parents and children. Drawing on attac…
- 3:42 ADHD, with Dr. Ned Hallowell
In this episode, Susan and Dr. Hallowell share tips for talking with children about ADHD that emphasizes its benefits rather than using a "just try harder!" approach. ADHD is a trait both Susan and Dr. Hallowell share, and both see it as a…
- 3:41 Parenting With Less Drama and More Connection
In this episode, Susan explores what power struggles really are, why they arise so instinctively, and how parents can step out of them by embodying calm, confident leadership. Drawing from decades of work with families, she illustrates how…
- 3:40 Raising Kids Who Can Handle Differences with Kelsey Blahnik
Susan speaks with clinician and author Kelsey Blahnik about her new book The AND Way, a model that helps people navigate tension while staying connected across deep divides. Together, they explore how parents can raise children who are ope…
- 3:39 Raising Resilience: Parenting Without Rescue
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- 3:38 The Power of Storytelling with Rabbi Michael Zedek
In this episode, Susan connects with her longtime friend, Rabbi Michael Zedek, exploring the power of storytelling as a way to transmit values, resilience, and compassion to children and adults alike. Rabbi Zedek shares wisdom from his fiv…
- 3:39 The Parent Brain with Dr. Rita Eichenstein
In this episode, Susan talks with neuropsychologist Dr. Rita Eichenstein about the parent brain—how becoming a parent literally reshapes the brain, rewiring it for empathy, resilience, multitasking, and emotional intelligence. Dr. Eichenst…
- 3:37 Supporting Sensitive Kids with Dr. Judith Orloff
In this episode, Susan speaks with Dr. Judith Orloff about the gifts of sensitivity, offering encouragment and insight for parents of these tender-hearted, deep feeling children and teens. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/podcast-judith-o…
- 3:36 Parenting as a Path to Healing
In this episode, Susan explores one of the most powerful truths about parenting: that the most important thing we can do for our children is to work on ourselves. Drawing inspiration from Dr. Gabor Maté's insight and her training in Intern…
- 3:35 Nurturing Closeness With Your Kids
In this episode, Susan emphasizes the importance of emotional connection between parents and children, even amid the busyness of daily life. She reassures parents that deep closeness doesn't require elaborate outings or large chunks of tim…
- 3:34 Threats vs. Boundaries: Set Limits That Build Connection
In this episode, Susan explores the important difference between threats and boundaries in parenting. Susan illustrates the contrast between threats and boundaries using real-life examples—such as homework, chores, and screen time. She hig…
- 3:33 Parenting After Divorce: What Kids Need Most
In this episode, Susan offers compassionate guidance for navigating the emotional complexities of parenting after divorce. Susan explores the importance of emotional presence, not perfection, as the foundation for helping children feel sec…
- 3:32 Helping Kids Thrive Through Real Connection
In this episode, Susan reflects on Derek Thompson's article The Death of Partying in the USA to explore a troubling trend: the steady decline of in-person socializing, especially among young people. Susan highlights the mental health risks…
- 3:31 Big Feelings, Tender Hearts: Supporting Sensitive Children
In this episode, Susan explores the unique needs and strengths of highly sensitive children. Susan explains that high sensitivity is a temperament trait—not a flaw—characterized by deep empathy, acute perception, and strong emotional respo…
- 3:30 Why Does Your Child's Behavior Make Sense?
In this episode, encourages parents to shift from reactive discipline to compassionate problem-solving by asking a simple but powerful question: "Why does this behavior make sense?" Susan illustrates how understanding the root causes of a…
- 3:29 Parenting from Your Calm Self: Less Yelling and More Connection
In this episode, Susan explors the roots of parental reactivity—those moments when we snap, yell, or shut down—and why they have less to do with our children's behavior and more to do with our own unmet needs, past experiences, and nervous…
- 3:28 Keeping Your Cool In Stressful Moments
In this episode, Susan tackles a common parenting challenge: how to stay calm in the heat of conflict. Drawing on attachment theory, neuroscience, and mindfulness, Susan introduces two powerful tools—shrinking the moment and using a mental…
- 3:27 Holding Space for Big Feelings: A Conversation with Tracy Gillett
In this insightful episode, Susan is joined by Tracy Gillett of Raised Good for an honest conversation about parenting through meltdowns—those intense emotional storms that can shake both children and caregivers. They explore what's really…
- 3:26 Meltdowns Are Not Misbehavior: A Nervous System Perspective
In this episode, I explore one of the most challenging aspects of parenting: children's emotional meltdowns. But meltdowns are not signs of bad behavior—they're nervous system overloads signaling distress. I unpack the neuroscience behind…
- 3:25 Let Grow with Lenore Skenazy: Why Childhood Independence Matters
In this episode, Susan and Lenore Skenazy discussed the importance of childhood independence, free play, and responsibility, emphasizing the need to reduce anxiety in children by allowing them to take risks and make their own decisions. Th…
- 3:24 Raising Digitally Resilient Kids With Delaney Ruston
In this episode, Susan welcomes Dr. Delaney Ruston, a physician, filmmaker, and creator of the Screenagers documentary series. In this powerful conversation, they talk about how to parent with compassion and confidence in the digital age.…
- 3:23 New Ways to Approach Anxiety
Anxiety in children isn't something to eliminate—it's something to understand. In this episode, we explore how anxiety shows up in the body and why it's actually a signal, not a flaw. You'll walk away with a new lens on your child's anxiou…
- 3:22 Understanding and Supporting Anxious Children
In this episode, Susan explores the rising issue of anxiety in children and teens, emphasizing that anxiety is not a flaw but a signal that something feels unsafe. She discusses contributing factors like social media, academic pressure, an…
- 3:21 Helping Kids Trust Their Inner Wisdom
In this episode, Susan explores the importance of helping kids tune into their own wisdom and instincts, so they can think for themselves with confidence. Susan shares practical strategies for fostering self-trust, including asking thought…
- 3:25 Transform Your Parenting: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger
In this episode, Susan welcomes licensed clinical mental health counselor and certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, Tammy Sollenberger, to explore how IFS can help parents navigate their emotional triggers and build deeper con…
- 3:20 When Kids Lie: What It Means and How to Respond
In this episode, Susan explores why kids lie and how parents can foster honesty with compassion. She explains that lying is often a normal part of child development, driven by self-protection, avoiding consequences, or imaginative storytel…
- 3:19 Flipping the Script on ADHD
In this episode, Susan challenges the traditional view of ADHD, reframing it as different brain wiring rather than a deficit. She explores how ADHD brains thrive on creativity and spontaneity while struggling with executive function and em…
- 3:18 Helping Siblings Navigate Conflict: With Dr. Laura Markham
In this episode, Susan shares an excerpt from her new class with Dr. Laura Markham on Sibling Harmony. They explore how parents can help their children navigate sibling rivalry and how to guide kids to resolve conflicts in healthy ways. Su…
- 3:17 Handling Defiance In Kids
In this episode, Susan addresses a parent's concern about their seven-year-old child exhibiting rudeness, defiance, and emotional outbursts, especially when asked to do simple tasks. Susan emphasizes the importance of staying calm and regu…
- 3:16 Wildfire Support For Parents with Dr. Laura Markham
This is a recording of a free session Susan hosted with Dr. Laura Markham on January 11, 2025 to offer immediate support to those affected by the wildfires in southern California. To subscribe to Susan's newsletter and receive updates abou…
- 3:15 Are You Co-Parenting With A Narcissist?
In this episode, Susan discusses some of the signs that co-parenting struggles are due to narcissism, rather than more ordinary issues like hurt or resentment. She shares the kinds of questions she gets from parents who are co-parenting wi…
- 3:14 The Work and Parenting with Byron Katie
In this episode, Susan shares an excerpt from a past session with Byron Katie, whose self-inquiry method, The Work, has deeply influenced her parenting approach. Katie's process helps parents question and shift stressful beliefs to improve…
- 1:83 Helping Kids Make Mistakes With Susan Stiffelman
In this episode, Susan talks about the importance of allowing our kids to make mistakes and gain resilience by recovering from them. https://susanstiffelman.com/podcast-episode-helping-kids-make-mistakes/
- 3:13 Helping Kids Become Resilient Adults With Julie Lythcott-Haims
In this episode, Susan talks with Julie Lythcott-Haims about the challenges of parenting, particularly as children transition into adulthood. They discuss the ways in which parents' roles evolve as their children grow, and the importance o…
- 3:12 Restless and Fidgety Kids with Susan Stiffelman
In this episode, Susan explores the challenges children face with restlessness, fidgetiness, and hyperactivity, particularly in the school environment. She emphasizes the importance of movement, play, and imagination in child development,…
- 3:11 Attachment Instincts with Gabor Mate, MD
In this episode, Susan talks with Dr. Gabor Maté about attachment instincts, peer orientation, and the importance of parental presence in building a strong parent-child relationship. Dr. Maté explains how children's attachment to peers can…
- 3:10 Rest Is A Sacred Act With Robyn Posin, PhD
In this episode, Susan talks with her friend and colleague, Robyn Posin, PhD. They discuss Robyn's book, "Go Only as Fast as Your Slowest Part Feels Safe to Go: Tales to Kindle Gentleness and Compassion for Our Exhausted Selves." They expl…
- 3:9 Generational Healing with Dr. Dan Siegel and Susan Stiffelman, MFT
In this episode, Susan talks with Dr. Dan Siegel on breaking dysfunctional patterns we've inherited from our own parents and grandparents. They discuss how early interactions with caregivers shape individuals and how tendencies and behavio…
- 3:8 Coaching With Susan: Finding Balance with a New Baby
In this episode, Susan coaches a new parent struggling to adjust to life with their 11-month-old baby. The parent expresses challenges in maintaining balance in their life after the baby's arrival. Susan emphasizes the importance of honest…
- 3:7 Coaching with Susan: Different Boundaries In Different Homes
In this episode, Susan coaches a parent whose kids have a hard time adjusting to the different rules and boundaries in their parents' two homes. Susan reassures this parent that boundaries help kids feel safe and secure in their attachment…
- 3:6 Coaching with Susan: Helping a Child Prepare for Extended Travel
In this episode, Susan helps a parent with an unusual dilemma: their family will be traveling for a year, and their young daughter is resistant to the idea. Susan discusses the importance of making it safe for the child to express fears wh…
- 3:5 Coaching With Susan: Parenting a Young Adult with ADHD
In this episode, you'll hear Susan talking with the parent of a forgetful, somewhat disorganized teen with ADHD without micromanaging. This conversation goes deep, looking at how our anxiety can muddy the waters of effective parenting. htt…
- 3:4 Coaching With Susan: Exploring Ancestral Anger
In this episode, Susan talks with a parent who struggles with what she calls "ancestral anger" toward her preschooler -- a feeling of rage that stems from an unhealed part of her own childhood. Susan coaches this parent on handling the bui…