Master Your Marriage
Psychology & Relationships
About
The average couple waits 6 years to get help in their marriage. That's 6 years of pain, hurt, frustration and lost opportunity. This podcast is designed to help you NOT become a part of that statistic. Hosted by Dr. Robert and Sharla Snow — themselves married for 31 years — The Master Your Marriage show is here with straight-talking guidance on how to fill your marriage with fun, friendship and love, without it ever feeling like "hard work." No matter how long you've been struggling with your marriage, or how long it's been since you've felt that "spark," we promise you, there is hope! Your MASTERFUL marriage starts here.
Episodes
- How Withdrawal Slowly Ends Marriages
This episode discusses how withdrawal, a relationship pattern, erodes connection and can lead to couples living parallel lives. The hosts explain how withdrawal can manifest and its impact on relationships.
- The Half-In, Half-Out Marriage
This episode of the "Master Your Marriage" podcast explores Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife’s insights on the impact of indecision in relationships, particularly in what is described as a "half-in, half-out marriage." The discussion covers how…
- Defensiveness Is Blocking Real Intimacy
This episode of Master Your Marriage explores defensiveness in relationships, how it impacts intimacy, and offers practical tools to overcome it. It discusses insights from The Gottman Institute, Brené Brown, and Byron Katie regarding this…
- The Hidden Cost of Keeping the Peace in Marriage
This episode explores the concept of appeasement in marriage, detailing how avoiding conflict and people-pleasing can lead to resentment and hinder true intimacy. It also discusses how to move towards honest communication within a relation…
- Retaliation in Marriage: Why ‘You Hurt Me First’ Never Works
This episode of Master Your Marriage discusses retaliation in relationships. It covers why retaliation, whether direct or indirect, ultimately fails to create understanding and destroys connection, and suggests shifting from an automatic,…
- Needing to Be Right: Just Because You Think You're Right, Doesn’t Mean You Get to Prove It!
This episode of Master Your Marriage discusses the impact of the need to be right on marital relationships. It covers why brains are wired to need to be right, the subjectivity of perceptions, and practical rules to break this cycle.
- Controlling Your Partner: Just Because You Want Them to Change, Doesn't Mean You Get to Control Them (And Push Them Away)
This episode of Master Your Marriage discusses controlling behaviors in relationships, examining overt and covert tactics stemming from a desire for control. It explores how these actions can damage trust and intimacy, and encourages liste…
- Unbridled Expression: Just Because You Think It, Doesn't Mean You Get to Say It (And Hurt Your Spouse)
Robert and Sharla discuss the destructive pattern of unbridled expression in relationships, where unfiltered thoughts and feelings cause harm. They explain how this behavior, seen as a "losing strategy," negatively impacts intimacy and can…
- Saving Your Marriage Solo: Transforming Your Relationship Without Your Spouse's Help with Casey and Meygan Caston
Sharla and Robert speak with Casey and Meygan Caston of Marriage 365. They discuss tools and habits for building a healthier relationship, including focusing on self-improvement, practicing love language actions, and using a four-step apol…
- Why You Can’t Get Out of Bed (It’s Not Laziness or Depression); The Nervous System Science Behind Shutdown
This episode discusses why people feel stuck and can't get out of bed, examining the nervous system science behind shutdown. It covers the three nervous system states, their relation to the Window of Tolerance, and tools to gently re-engag…
- Soothing Each Other's Triggers - Secure Relationships Part 5
In this episode, Sharla and Robert discuss partner soothing as part of secure relationships. They cover identifying vulnerabilities, avoiding triggers, and using antidotes to support each other.
- Power Struggles Killing Your Marriage? How to Govern Your Relationship Like Equals (Part 4 of the Secure-Relationship Series)
This episode of Master Your Marriage explores how to end power struggles by implementing a system of governance in your relationship. It draws on concepts like "accepting influence" and "shared leadership" to restore parity and protect the…
- “I Don’t Feel Safe” – What It Really Means and How the Couple Bubble Fixes It (Part 3 of the Secure-Relationship Series)
This episode of Master Your Marriage discusses the phrase “I don’t feel safe” in relationships and introduces the concept of the “couple bubble” for creating security. It also explores the difference between principles and rules and provid…
- The Attachment Style Quiz Your Therapist Would Give You (Part 2 Secure-Relationship Series)
This episode of Master Your Marriage discusses the three main attachment styles: Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant. It explains how childhood experiences shape relationship behaviors and provides insights into building secure relationships by…
- Why Secure Functioning Relationships Are a Necessity (Part One Secure-Relationship Series)
This episode discusses the necessity of secure functioning relationships, drawing from attachment theory and Stan Tatkin's work. It explores how these relationships offer safety, happiness, and health, and touches on how couples can naviga…
- National Quitter’s Day: Why Your Relationship Goals Fail (And 3 Tweaks to Make Them Stick)
This episode discusses why relationship goals often fail by examining factors like misaligned values, outcome-focused planning, and inadequate preparation for obstacles. It offers strategies for making goals stick through daily rituals and…
- What Needs to Die in Your Marriage? Bold Questions for a New Year
This episode of Master Your Marriage discusses a fresh framework for setting intentions in marriage: subtraction, growth, and protection. Hosts Robert and Sharla Snow encourage couples to identify and release limiting beliefs and behaviors…
- Declutter Your Marriage: 14 Toxic Beliefs to Trash in 2026
This episode discusses 14 toxic beliefs that can harm marriages, drawing on research from experts like John Gottman, Murray Bowen, David Schnarch, and Carol Dweck. It offers healthier alternatives to these myths to help couples improve con…
- Tolerating Discomfort: The Muscle Behind True Relationship Intimacy
This episode discusses tolerating discomfort as a key factor for lasting relationship intimacy. It covers relationship stages, avoiding unhelpful strategies, and the importance of accepting influence.
- Gratitude in Marriage + A New Ritual
This episode of Master Your Marriage discusses the impact of gratitude on relationships. It provides steps for couples to incorporate gratitude into their daily lives, including a 30-day gratitude challenge.
- Special Announcement: 50% Off Exclusive for Listeners – Annual Marriage Values Summit This Weekend!
Master Your Marriage is offering a 50% discount for their Annual Marriage Values Summit. This virtual event includes interactive exercises, a workbook, live coaching, and a Q&A session to help couples strengthen their marriage.
- 3 Conversations to Redesign Your Marriage: Don't End the Year Without These Talks
Sharla and Robert from "Master Your Marriage" discuss three conversations designed to help couples reflect on their past year, assess their current relationship, and plan for their future. They share insights from their own marriage to enc…
- 7 Powerful Rituals to Prevent Complacency and Reconnect with Your Spouse
This episode of Master Your Marriage discusses the significance of creating intentional rituals to strengthen relationships and prevent emotional drift. The hosts share insights on how rituals can enhance connection, intimacy, and communic…
- Making Blended Families Work with Tarah and EJ Kerwin
In this episode, Tarah and EJ Kerwin, licensed therapists, share insights on navigating blended families, addressing challenges such as postpartum issues and communication breakdowns. They emphasize the importance of self-reflection, clear…
- 4 Brain Hacks to Stay Madly in Love for Years (or Forever)
This episode of Master Your Marriage explores the neuroscience behind lasting love, focusing on specific habits that can be cultivated. It covers the importance of physical connection, positive illusions, verbalizing appreciation, and plan…
- Defensiveness: An Enemy to Growth and Loving Relationships
This episode of Master Your Marriage discusses defensiveness in relationships, exploring its effects on intimacy and personal growth. It delves into the Four Horsemen of relationship dynamics, emphasizing self-awareness and accountability…
- The Science of Repair in Relationships
This episode of Master Your Marriage explores the science of repair in relationships. It discusses how repair is essential for mending ruptures, building resilience, and maintaining a strong connection, referencing research by experts like…
- Navigating Stress As A Married Couple
This episode discusses stress-reducing conversations in marriage, highlighting their importance in managing external stress and strengthening relationships. It covers becoming allies, implementing these conversations effectively, and their…
- Communication Part 5: Mastering Our Stories
This episode of Master Your Marriage explores the impact of personal narratives on emotions and relational conflicts. It discusses strategies for couples to challenge and rewrite their stories to foster healthier communication and more ful…
- Communication Part 4: Begin with the Mirror
This episode of Master Your Marriage explores healthy communication within relationships. It emphasizes self-awareness, empathy, and practical tools for navigating difficult discussions to foster mutual understanding between partners.
- Communication Part 3: The Assumptions That Destroy Communication
This episode of Master Your Marriage, titled "Communication Part 3: The Assumptions That Destroy Communication," explores how judgments impact intimacy in relationships. It discusses shifting from judgmental language to observations, drawi…
- Communication Part 2: Three Goals for Better Communication in Your Marriage
This episode of Master Your Marriage continues a series on communication, focusing on expressing needs without judgment and fostering connection. The discussion includes actionable tools to improve communication with a partner by avoiding…
- Communication Part 1: What Happens When You Don’t Speak Up in a Relationship
This episode of Master Your Marriage discusses the impact of not communicating in relationships. It explores how silence can lead to resentment and affect intimacy, and provides strategies for building better communication skills.
- Parenting Conflict Part 3: How to Unite as Parents and a Couple to Reduce Conflict
This episode discusses the challenges of parenting and their impact on relationships. It explores insights from Dr. John Gottman on navigating life transitions, aligning values, and resolving conflicts.
- Breaking Generational Patterns in Relationships, with Leanna Hunt
This episode explores generational patterns and their effect on relationships, featuring Leanna Hunt. She provides insights into nervous system regulation and generational trauma healing, offering practical steps for couples to address inh…
- Parenting Conflict Part 2: How to Fix Parenting Mismatches to Save Your Marriage (And Help Your Kids)
This episode of Master Your Marriage explores how parenting differences affect marriages. It introduces conflict blueprints, emphasizing gentle communication, compromise, and understanding core values to resolve disagreements and strengthe…
- Parenting Conflict Part 1: Is a Mismatch in Parenting Killing Your Marriage (And Harming Your Kids Emotional Development)?
This episode of Master Your Marriage discusses parenting conflicts, including how core values and meta-emotion mismatches can escalate disagreements. It references research from Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Nancy Eisenberg on managing these co…
- Fighting Well in Marriage: A Litmus Test for Emotional Maturity
This episode discusses emotional maturity and its role in healthy relationships, particularly during disagreements. It covers managing conflicts with empathy, drawing on Dr. John Gottman's research, and offers practical strategies for buil…
- Triangulation: A Toxic Relationship and Family Pattern
This episode discusses triangulation in relationships, focusing on its manifestation and impact on emotional health. It provides strategies for recognizing and breaking free from this pattern through direct communication and boundary setti…
- Coping with Loss Together: Strategies for Grieving as a Couple
This episode of Master Your Marriage discusses how couples can navigate loss and grief together. It covers strategies for understanding different grieving processes and maintaining connection during challenging times.
- Why Your Spouse May Not Be Motivated In Your Relationship
This episode explores why spouses may lack motivation in a relationship, differentiating between "away-from" motivation, which reacts to problems, and "toward" motivation, which is driven by a shared vision. It discusses how a positive vis…
- How to Cherish Your Spouse: The Key to a Joyful Marriage
This episode of Master Your Marriage explores the concept of cherishing your spouse as essential for a joyful marriage. It differentiates cherishing from appreciation, discusses the role of gratitude in combating entitlement, and reference…
- Feeling Alone in Your Marriage? The Cry for Connection
This episode of Master Your Marriage explores loneliness within marriage and the brain's need for connection. It discusses the science of the relational brain and how co-regulation can improve relationships.
- How Trauma Hijacks Your Marriage (And How to Take It Back) Part 2
This episode discusses how trauma shapes automatic behaviors in marriage. It explores identifying these patterns, healing the inner child, and choosing wiser responses to reclaim the relationship. The hosts share insights on how childhood…
- How Trauma Hijacks Your Marriage (And How to Take It Back)
This episode discusses how trauma can affect relationships, causing individuals to react from past wounds rather than a wise adult perspective. It explores how to identify triggers and work towards healing within a marriage, using examples…
- Rewiring Your Brain for a Better Marriage: The Power of Neuroplasticity
Sharla and Robert discuss neuroplasticity and its application to marriage. They explore how the brain's ability to rewire itself can transform relationships, drawing on concepts from therapist Terry Real. The episode covers making unconsci…
- Overcoming Power Struggles: The Art of Accepting Influence
This episode explores overcoming power struggles in relationships by accepting influence. It discusses why this skill is crucial for a lasting connection and practical steps to navigate disagreements with emotional intelligence.
- Why Empathy Disappears in Marriage—And How to Get It Back
This episode discusses why empathy may disappear in marriage and how to regain it. It explores misconceptions about empathy, practical steps to cultivate it, and its importance for intimacy and connection.
- Resentment vs. Forgiveness: Which One Is Controlling Your Marriage?
This episode explores the complexities of rebuilding trust after betrayal and the effects of unforgiveness in relationships. It discusses how forgiveness can lead to personal peace and healthier relationships.
- Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal
This episode of Master Your Marriage explores the theme of trust in relationships. It covers how trust can be broken, the emotional impact of betrayal, and the stages of healing for both partners.