Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity
Psychology & Relationships
About
Todd Creager is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and relationship coach with over 30 years of experience helping couples build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. In this podcast, Todd talks openly about love, sex, and infidelity with married and long-term couples who want real answers. Drawing from decades in practice, he shares practical advice, relatable stories, and honest guidance to help you work through challenges and create the relationship you actually want. Whether you're dealing with communication breakdowns, intimacy issues, trust after infidelity, or just want to reconnect with your partner, Todd's warm, no-nonsense approach gives you tools you can use right away.
Episodes
- #269 | Why Willpower Fails in Sex and Intimacy — And What Actually Helps
This episode examines why willpower is often ineffective in addressing sexual and intimacy challenges. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Todd Creager explains how therapeutic approaches such as Internal Family Systems (IFS) and EMDR c…
- #268 | Why Betrayal Feels Like a Life-or-Death Trauma — and What's Really Happening Inside You
This episode explains how betrayal trauma, stemming from infidelity, can activate childhood wounds related to abandonment and safety. It discusses using Internal Family Systems (IFS) and EMDR therapy to process these old pains and help the…
- #267 | Why You Keep Having the Same Fight — And How to Finally Stop
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Todd Creager uses Internal Family Systems (IFS) concepts to explain why couples have the same fights repeatedly. He introduces the idea of protective parts, shaped by past wounds, hijacking conversati…
- #266 | The Civil War of Betrayal: Why You Love Them and Want to Leave at the Same Time
Todd Creager discusses the 'Civil War of Betrayal' following infidelity, explaining how the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework, including managers, firefighters, and exiles, helps understand and navigate the conflict. He introduces th…
- #265 | The Venus Fly Trap: Love, Borderline Personality Disorder, and the Relationships That Change You
Stephen Paul Edwards joins Todd to discuss his memoir, "The Venus Fly Trap," focusing on a challenging relationship, borderline personality disorder, and gaslighting. The conversation explores why people stay in toxic relationships and the…
- #264 | Is It Insecurity—Or Is It Manipulation? How to Tell the Difference in Your Relationship
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Todd Creager explains how to differentiate between a partner's genuine insecurity and manipulation. The episode highlights warning signs of manipulation, such as questioning your reality and isolating…
- #263 | Why You Cannot Move On After Being Lied To: Cognitive Dissonance Explained
This episode explains cognitive dissonance, the psychological phenomenon that makes it difficult to move on after experiencing infidelity or lies, even when the evidence is clear. Therapist Todd Creager discusses the conflicting feelings o…
- #262 | Trust Your Gut: Recognizing Gaslighting in Your Relationship
This episode addresses gaslighting, a behavior where one partner causes the other to doubt their reality. Host Todd explains how to recognize this pattern, trust your instincts, and seek help to either rebuild the relationship on healthier…
- #261 | When Cheating Meets Denial: How Gaslighting Protects Infidelity
This episode explores how gaslighting is used to protect infidelity, detailing tactics like denial, blame-shifting, and rewriting events. Host Todd explains how these manipulative strategies by unfaithful partners aim to avoid responsibili…
- #260 | When Shame Makes You Disappear: How to Stay Present During Conflict
This episode explores the
- #259 | Why Silent Punishment Hurts Your Partner and How to Repair Without Words
This episode discusses silent punishment in relationships, where withdrawal and coldness, often unintentional, lead to feelings of rejection. Todd Creager explains how staying present, even silently, can facilitate repair and connection wi…
- #258 | When Your Body Shuts Down During a Fight: Understanding the Freeze Response
This episode discusses the freeze response during conflict, explaining it as a nervous system protection mechanism rather than a sign of weakness. It features a couple's story and offers grounding techniques to help individuals stay presen…
- #257 | Why Defending Yourself Pushes Your Partner Away (And What to Do Instead)"
This episode discusses how defensiveness in conversations hinders connection by making partners feel unheard and rejected. It offers an alternative approach: pausing defensiveness, softening, and offering presence instead of explanations t…
- 256 | The Need to Be Right is Ruining Your Relationship
This episode features relationship expert Todd Creager discussing how the 'need to be right' can negatively impact relationships, using a couple's story to illustrate deeper issues beyond simple communication problems. The discussion cover…
- #255 | Why Bickering Becomes Your Default (And How to Break the Cycle)
This episode explains that persistent bickering in relationships stems from a nervous system issue rather than a communication deficit. It details how to interrupt the cycle of conflict by calming the nervous system, drawing on examples of…
- #254 | How to Rebuild a New Identity After Cheating on Your Partner
This episode addresses the identity crisis following infidelity, offering guidance on rebuilding self-trust and personal values. Expert Todd Creager shares insights on recovery, meeting needs authentically, and integrating shame into whole…
- #253 | Why Did I Cheat? Understanding the Real Reasons Behind Infidelity (And How to Stop)
This episode delves into the underlying reasons for infidelity, such as childhood experiences, emotional disconnection, and attempts to escape pain. It offers guidance on stopping the pattern through self-awareness and processing pain, and…
- #252 | What Kind of Therapy Helps You Heal Infidelity?
This episode explains the necessity of therapy after infidelity, discussing the types of therapy that can help, the reasons why individuals may cheat, and what betrayed partners and those who have cheated need from the healing process.
- #251 | Do I Need to Separate to Have Clarity After Infidelity?
This episode discusses whether separation is necessary for clarity and self-dignity after infidelity. It explores physical, emotional, and sexual separation, explaining how infidelity impacts the nervous system and why self-regulation is k…
- # 250 | What Boundaries Are Needed After Discovering Infidelity?
This episode focuses on the necessary boundaries for rebuilding trust after infidelity, emphasizing total transparency from the betrayer. It discusses practical steps like ending affair relationships, changing jobs if needed, setting socia…
- #249 | Can You Really Forgive After Infidelity? Finding Your Way Back to Peace
This episode discusses the process of forgiving a partner after infidelity, emphasizing that forgiveness is a personal choice that benefits the forgiver. It outlines two paths to forgiveness—staying with the partner or leaving—both requiri…
- #248 | When a Person Who Betrayed is Becoming Trustworthy: Key Signs to Watch For
This episode features infidelity expert Todd Creager discussing how to recognize when a partner who has betrayed you is becoming trustworthy again. He shares insights on understanding the reasons for infidelity, identifying signs of emotio…
- #247 | Understanding Multiple Infidelities: Essential Insights for the Betrayed Partner
This episode discusses serial infidelities, offering insights for betrayed partners by explaining that the betrayals are not their fault, delving into the psychology of serial cheaters, and providing guidance on rebuilding self-worth and u…
- # 246 | How Old Do You Feel? The One Question That Saved My 41-Year Marriage
In this episode, Todd Creager discusses how intimate relationships can trigger defensive reactions reminiscent of childhood fears. He shares a powerful question that shifts partners from reactive to connected and offers a process to manage…
- 245 | The Hidden Truth About Infidelity: Why It’s Never Really About You (And What It Actually Reveals)
This episode features betrayal recovery coach Lora Cheadle discussing infidelity not as a personal failing, but as a revelation of hidden truths and a catalyst for self-discovery. It explores shifting the perspective from victimhood to emp…
- #244 | Why Attachment Styles Impact Your Sexual Desire
Todd Creager discusses how childhood attachment patterns, such as relationships with parents, can affect adult sexual desire, particularly after commitment. The episode explores specific examples and offers insights for understanding and p…
- #243 | How Your Attachment Style Affects Addictive Behaviors
This episode examines how childhood attachment styles influence adult addictive behaviors, impacting emotional regulation and substance use. It discusses how anxious or avoidant attachment styles may relate to specific addictions and offer…
- #242 | The Joy of Kissing: Rekindling Passion Through Life's Most Intimate Act
This episode explores the importance of kissing in relationships, discussing its effect on brain chemistry and its role in healing tension and rebuilding intimacy. It offers practical tips for bringing back passionate kissing and emphasize…
- #241 | Attachment Styles & Infidelity: What You Need to Know
Relationship expert Todd Creager discusses the connection between attachment styles and infidelity, explaining how secure, anxious, and avoidant patterns influence relationship dynamics and vulnerability to infidelity. The episode offers i…
- #240 | Attachment Styles: How They Affect Your Love Life
This episode explores attachment styles and their impact on relationships, discussing the four main types and providing examples. It also covers how to develop an earned secure attachment, highlighting neuroplasticity and the potential for…
- #239 | The Hidden Cost of Not Fixing Your Communication Patterns
In this episode, therapist Todd Creager discusses the negative consequences of unresolved communication issues in relationships. He explains how these patterns can affect physical health and offers insights into recognizing and improving c…
- #238 | Why Love Isn't Enough: Breaking Free from Repeating Arguments
This episode explores why love alone doesn't solve recurring relationship arguments, delving into survival mode, childhood influences, and practical solutions like curiosity and awareness to foster deeper connection and conscious communica…
- #235 | The Truth About Your "Broken" Self: It's Just Nervous System Overload
This episode explains that freeze, flight, or explode reactions are not signs of being broken, but rather the nervous system's protective responses. It delves into the science of the vagus nerve and offers practical techniques to help regu…
- #237 | Why Just Talking About It Isn't Working - Moving From Conflict to Connection
Relationship expert Todd Creager explains why simply talking about relationship issues can be counterproductive. This episode offers strategies to move beyond frustration and anger to achieve authentic communication and deeper connection.
- #236 | What Your Parents Never Taught You About Healthy Love - The Truth Revealed
Therapist Todd Creager explains that many people weren't taught essential skills for healthy relationships. He covers the three pillars of healthy love—repair, attunement, and curiosity—and offers strategies for improving communication, ma…
- #234 | Stopping Arguments Before They Escalate
This episode focuses on techniques to prevent arguments from escalating in relationships. Drawing on 40 years of experience, therapist Todd Creager explains how to manage reactions, communicate vulnerably, and break negative patterns to fo…
- #233 | Why Your Partner Doesn't Hear You - It's All About Brain Chemistry
This episode explores the neurochemical basis for why partners may not be truly hearing each other, discussing the role of dopamine and fear responses in communication breakdowns. It offers practical strategies for improving listening and…
- #232 | How Better Communication Leads to Better Sex - Expert Tips
This episode discusses the link between communication and sexual satisfaction, offering expert tips from a sex therapist on using verbal and non-verbal cues to enhance intimacy and passion in relationships.
- #231 | Relationship Playfulness: The Key to Lasting Love
This episode discusses the importance of playfulness in maintaining vibrant relationships, even after the initial courtship phase. It offers practical, everyday ways to inject spontaneity and joy, highlighting how playfulness combats the "…
- #230 | Creating a Safe Space For Healing From Trauma
This episode guides listeners on creating a safe space for trauma healing, offering techniques for internal safety like breathing exercises and self-compassion, and external safety through boundary setting. It addresses trauma responses an…
- #229 | Love As A Healing Force For Trauma
In this episode, relationship expert Todd Creager discusses how love, defined as "attention with care," can be a potent healing force for trauma. He explores the role of supportive relationships, self-love, and becoming a "Partner in Pain"…
- #227 | 3 Common Ways Partners Lose Trust (And How to Repair It)
This episode discusses three common ways partners lose trust: "little lies," broken promises, and betrayal/infidelity. Relationship expert Todd Creager explains the impact of these behaviors and offers guidance on repairing trust to create…
- #228 | EMDR: How it Can Help Heal Infidelity Trauma
This episode explores how EMDR therapy can address the trauma of infidelity, discussing its effectiveness for both partners and introducing EMDR Trauma Recovery Assistance Programs. The host shares insights from extensive clinical experien…
- #226 | 7 Signs of Unhealed Relationship Trauma
In this episode, therapist Todd Creager identifies seven signs of unhealed relationship trauma, such as fear of intimacy and overreacting to triggers. He shares client stories to illustrate how past hurts manifest in relationships and offe…
- #225 | 4 Types of Trauma That Causes Relationship Challenges
In this episode, therapist Todd Creager discusses four types of trauma—abandonment, rejection, betrayal, and humiliation—that can negatively affect relationships. He explains how to identify these traumas, provides real-life examples, and…
- #224 | This Might Be The Reason Why Intimacy Feels Scary
This episode explores the link between childhood trauma and intimacy difficulties, offering insights from a couples therapist and trauma specialist. It provides guidance on understanding and overcoming protective patterns to foster deeper,…
- #223 | Building a Stronger Relationship After Infidelity: Your Questions Answered
This episode explores how couples can achieve post-traumatic growth after infidelity, turning trauma into an opportunity for relationship renewal. Key takeaways include questions for advancing the relationship, emotional regulation techniq…
- #222 | Managing Triggers After Infidelity: 5 Essential Questions Answered
This episode of Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity features Todd Creager discussing how to manage triggers after infidelity. He provides five essential questions and answers, focusing on strategies for couples to use triggers as oppor…
- #221 | Deepening Emotional Connection after Infidelity: Your Questions Answered!
In this episode, Todd Creager answers questions about rebuilding emotional connection after infidelity. He discusses developing emotional muscle, mastering attunement, and embracing vulnerability with practical strategies and real examples…
- #220 | How to Take Responsibility Without Shame When You've Cheated
In this episode, Todd Creager explains how to take responsibility for infidelity without succumbing to shame. He provides practical advice on acknowledging wrongdoing, managing emotions, supporting a partner's healing, and rebuilding trust.