It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People
Psychology & Relationships
About
Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else. They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life! Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way? In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid. And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.
Episodes
- When No One Believes You About High Conflict
This episode of It's All Your Fault discusses the difficulties people face when others do not believe their accounts of high-conflict situations. The hosts, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter, explain why individuals with high-conflict personality…
- When Addiction Meets Custody: Building a Plan That Holds, Part 2
This episode, part two of a series, discusses creating parenting plans for custody cases involving addiction and high-conflict personalities. It covers strategies such as building in consequences, relapse protocols, and objective safety sa…
- When Addiction and Antisocial Behavior Collide in Custody
This episode addresses high-conflict custody cases where parents exhibit antisocial personality traits, addiction, and deception. It covers recognizing these patterns, addressing family court judges, and integrating relapse prevention into…
- Why Your Child Absorbs Your Emotions
This episode discusses how children absorb parental emotions in high-conflict divorces, explaining the science of emotional contagion and offering parents practical strategies like managing schedules, teaching life skills, and naming emoti…
- Passive Aggressive Behavior: Is It High Conflict?
This episode of It’s All Your Fault discusses passive aggressive behavior in high conflict situations. Hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explain how to recognize this behavior at home and work, set limits, and maintain emotional footing to…
- Conflict Creators: Why Drama Gets Into Our Heads
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter of the High Conflict Institute explain the neuroscience behind our attraction to conflict and drama, noting that our brain's drive for connection makes us vulnerable to these personalities. The episode provides a…
- High Conflict Behavior at Work Part 2 with Michael Lomax
Michael Lomax and Megan Hunter discuss practical tools for leaders to manage high conflict behavior at work, covering BIFF responses, handling disruptive participants, and managing chronic complainers. They also touch on building a conflic…
- High Conflict Behavior at Work with Michael Lomax
Senior trainer Michael Lomax joins Megan Hunter on 'It's All Your Fault' to discuss the rise of high conflict behavior in workplaces. They explore the impact of global stress and trauma, how leaders get emotionally hooked, and practical st…
- Setting Boundaries in High Conflict Situations
This episode addresses five listener questions on setting boundaries in high-conflict situations, covering interactions with neighbors, co-parents, coworkers, and adult children. It offers advice on balancing empathy and firmness, document…
- Can High Conflict Relationships Ever Become Truly Mutual? Setting Realistic Expectations and Boundaries
This episode discusses the possibility of achieving mutual relationships with high-conflict partners, examining communication techniques, boundary setting, and realistic expectations. It suggests that managed stability, rather than full mu…
- Beyond No-Contact: High Conflict Skills for Family Relationships
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore the growing phenomenon of adult children severing relationships with parents, examining research, societal shifts, and potential solutions, drawing from their experience at the High Conflict Institute.
- SLIC Solutions for Limits: How to Set Boundaries That Actually Work (with Ekaterina Ricci)
This episode features Ekaterina Ricci discussing her book "SLIC Solutions for Conflict," co-authored with Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter. It explores the "two and a half steps" approach to setting boundaries and consequences, emphasizing when…
- Self-Compassion and DBT: How New Treatment Approaches Transform BPD Recovery with Amanda Smith
This episode discusses the role of self-compassion and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) in treating borderline personality disorder traits. Host Megan Hunter interviews Amanda Smith, who explains how self-compassion can reduce self-destr…
- Worth Repeating: Protecting Elderly Loved Ones from High Conflict Manipulation
In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss the increasing challenge of protecting elderly individuals from high-conflict manipulation, including isolation, financial exploitation, and emotional tactics. They offer strategies for recognizing w…
- Worth Repeating: Setting Limits Without Public Exposure to Manage Difficult Behavior
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter discuss the effectiveness of public exposure for managing difficult behavior, arguing that private criticism, skill-based coaching, and natural consequences are generally more effective than public shaming with h…
- Worth Repeating: Skills Over Discipline to Transform Workplace Conflict with Cherolyn Knapp
This episode features Cherolyn Knapp discussing workplace conflict, noting that traditional HR methods fail with 10-20% of cases. She highlights the effectiveness of the New Ways for Work method, emphasizing early intervention and skill-bu…
- Worth Repeating: Finding Your Path Forward with High Conflict Parents
This episode addresses the struggles of young adults launching into independence when raised by high conflict parents. Hosts Bill and Megan discuss challenges like parental self-focus and societal pressures, offering solutions such as find…
- Worth Repeating: Turning Down High Conflict at Work with Cherolyn Knapp
This episode features Cherolyn Knapp discussing how to manage high-conflict behavior in the workplace. The hosts explore listener questions, examine why traditional approaches fail, and highlight skills-based interventions like EAR stateme…
- Worth Repeating: High-Conflict Holiday Guide
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter share practical strategies for handling high-conflict personalities during holiday gatherings, including setting boundaries and using the BIFF method.
- Setting Limits That Stick: The SLIC Method for Effective Boundaries
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter discuss the SLIC Method for setting effective boundaries and imposing consequences with children. This approach, detailed in their book, offers a practical framework for parents and caregivers to establish consis…
- Choosing Safe Partners: Understanding Red Flags in Dating with Dr. David Wexler
Dr. David Wexler discusses identifying red flags in dating, such as love bombing, contempt, and entitlement, and explains how to distinguish between healthy attention and obsession, drawing on his extensive clinical experience.
- Healthcare Conflict Solutions: Managing Hospital Tensions in High-Stress Environments with Dr. Jeff Stuart
Dr. Jeff Stuart, a physician executive, joins host Megan Hunter to discuss conflict management in healthcare. They explore how the pandemic altered healthcare conflicts, the sources of tension in hospitals, and strategies for improving com…
- Family Boundaries: Supporting Children Through High-Conflict Divorce
This episode of "It's All Your Fault" discusses how grandparents can support children through high-conflict divorces and how co-parents can manage relationships with high-conflict ex-spouses and new partners, emphasizing clear limits and p…
- High Conflict Communication Skills: Navigating Personal Change and Blended Family Dynamics
This episode explores high-conflict communication strategies for personal change and blended family dynamics, focusing on skill development like flexible thinking and emotional management. Hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter discuss the BIFF…
- Hostile Neighbor Conflict: How to Handle Community Harassment and Stay Safe
This episode of It’s All Your Fault discusses strategies for handling hostile neighbor situations and community harassment. Hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter provide guidance on maintaining composure, protecting your family, understanding c…
- Setting Boundaries in High Conflict: Your Questions About Difficult Relationships
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter discuss boundary setting in high-conflict relationships, addressing listener questions about an ex-girlfriend, criticism responses, and managing aging parents. They introduce the SLIC method (Setting Limits, Impo…
- High Conflict Listener Questions: When Different Personalities Collide in Families
This episode addresses listener questions about high-conflict personalities in relationships, including common trait pairings. It offers strategies for protecting children from parental alienation and advice on repairing family relationshi…
- High Conflict in Court: Managing Charm, Control, and Challenging Testimony
This episode analyzes a murder trial to illustrate managing high conflict behavior in court, discussing how legal professionals can handle charming yet manipulative witnesses. Hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter also address listener question…
- Falsely Blamed? How to Protect Yourself and Respond • REBROADCAST
This rebroadcast episode from "It's All Your Fault: High Conflict People" offers guidance on protecting yourself from false accusations by high-conflict individuals. Hosts Bill and Megan discuss strategies for minimizing risk, managing acc…
- The High-Conflict Borderline Personality: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 3) • REBROADCAST
This episode, a rebroadcast, explores high-conflict borderline personalities, often called 'Love You Hate You' types. Hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter discuss their defining characteristics, emotional regulation struggles, all-or-nothing t…
- Narcissistic Co-Parents, Borderline Spouses, and Intimidating Behaviors • REBROADCAST
This episode addresses listener questions on protecting a toddler from a narcissistic co-parent, managing intimidating behavior during decision-making, and discussing the dynamics and therapeutic support for living with someone exhibiting…
- High Conflict Patterns: Understanding Situational vs Long-Term Behavior • And We Introduce Conflict Influencer!
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter differentiate between situational and persistent high conflict behaviors, identifying patterns like blaming and unmanaged emotions. They introduce the new Conflict Influencer platform, offering resources and supp…
- Child Abuse Allegations: Finding Truth and Safety in Family Court with Dr. Wendy Bourg
Clinical psychologist Dr. Wendy Bourg joins Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter to discuss the challenges of child sexual abuse allegations in family court. Dr. Bourg shares insights on navigating these complex cases, avoiding professional pitfalls…
- Trauma vs. Entitlement: Finding Balance in High Conflict Situations
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter discuss balancing empathy with boundaries in high-conflict situations, exploring the relationship between trauma and entitlement. The episode emphasizes setting limits, acknowledging trauma, and using approaches…
- Female Teacher Sexual Misconduct: Understanding Power Dynamics and Emotional Drivers
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter examine the concerning issue of sexual misconduct by female teachers towards male students, detailing the psychological and interpersonal dynamics, grooming behaviors, and prevention measures for safer educationa…
- High Conflict Surprises: How to Recover When You Never Saw It Coming
This episode discusses the unsettling experience of being blindsided by high conflict situations, explaining how they develop and offering strategies to manage them. It emphasizes recognizing patterns, protecting yourself, and maintaining…
- “Why Don’t You Just Leave?”: Understanding Abuse & Finding Your Way Out
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter discuss the complexities of abusive relationships, including coercive control and personality patterns. They offer advice on recognizing abuse, seeking help, and supporting victims.
- Histrionics Unveiled: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 6) • REBROADCAST
This rebroadcast episode of "It's All Your Fault" discusses histrionic high-conflict personalities, detailing their exaggerated emotions, need for attention, and relationship misjudgments. It clarifies that the disorder affects men and wom…
- Unmasking the Narcissist: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 5) • REBROADCAST
This episode discusses narcissistic high conflict personalities, detailing their traits like a need for superiority and lack of empathy. It differentiates between grandiose and vulnerable narcissists and explores their presence in fields l…
- Recognizing High Conflict Patterns: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 1) • REBROADCAST
This episode discusses the five types of high conflict personalities, their characteristics like blame-shifting and unmanaged emotions, and strategies for navigating relationships with them. It emphasizes recognizing behavioral patterns an…
- Royal Family Fallout: How Public Scrutiny Damages Family Reconciliation
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter discuss the British Royal Family
- Borderline Personality Disorder: Courts, Recovery & Reform with Shehrina Rooney
This episode features Shehrina Rooney discussing Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), its effects on relationships, parenting, and legal challenges. It explores BPD recovery, misconceptions, and the intersection of BPD, trauma, and the l…
- Hidden in Plain Sight: Decoding the Doomsday Mom's High-Conflict Personality
Hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter analyze the Lori Vallow Daybell case, examining potential personality patterns like antisocial and narcissistic traits that may explain the murders. The episode also touches on genetic factors and the heali…
- Listener Q&A: Breaking Through High Conflict Patterns & Building Better Relationships
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter discuss managing high conflict patterns and relationships, emphasizing self-awareness and offering tools like BIFF and EAR. They cover strategies for dealing with challenging personalities, manipulative relations…
- Family Q&A: Real Solutions for High Conflict Relationships
This episode of It's All Your Fault features hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter answering listener questions about managing high conflict personalities within families. They discuss strategies for setting boundaries with siblings, understand…
- DNA Surprises & Family Secrets: Managing Genetic Identity Discoveries with Kara Rubenstein Deyerin
Kara Rubenstein Deyerin joins Bill and Megan to discuss how DNA test results can lead to high conflict within families, especially concerning misattributed parentage. The episode offers strategies for managing emotional reactions, rejectio…
- Negotiation's Missing Peace: Finding Humanity in High Conflict with Michèle Huff
In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Michèle Huff discusses her transformative approach to negotiation, focusing on internal transformation and human connection when dealing with high conflict personalities. The conversation highlights…
- Be Assertive, Not Aggressive: Winning in Family Court with Judge Bruce Cohen (ret.)
Retired Judge Bruce Cohen discusses assertiveness versus aggressiveness in family court, explaining how judges perceive communication styles and offering tips for effective evidence presentation. The episode emphasizes focusing on specific…
- Zero to Sixty: Understanding Why Some People Can't Control Their Anger
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore the link between anger and high conflict personalities, questioning traditional anger management techniques and highlighting the role of physiological arousal and human connection.
- Big Emotions Explained: Understanding Emotion Dysregulation and BPD
In this episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explain emotion dysregulation and its connection to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). They discuss the influence of brain structure, early childhood experiences, and social media on emotiona…