How Not to Screw Up Your Kids
Psychology & Relationships
About
Hello, I'm psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves.Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information...
Episodes
- Good Parents Doubt Themselves Too
This episode explores why parents doubt themselves, offering insights into quieting the inner critic and fostering self-compassion. It provides practical advice to help parents shift their internal dialogue and regulate their nervous syste…
- Homework: Building Persistence, Resilience & Independence
This episode of How Not to Screw Up Your Kids discusses how homework can be a tool for building persistence, resilience, and independence in children. It covers strategies for transforming homework from a source of stress into a skill-buil…
- Bucket Emptying: Living with Parental Guilt
This episode explores parental guilt, reframing it from a sign of failure to a natural byproduct of deep caring. It discusses reframing guilt, defining "good enough," and creating proof points, along with being present and avoiding compari…
- What Every Parent Needs to Know About Siblings
This episode explores how birth order shapes children's development, behavior, and long-term identity, including firstborn advantages and the impact of family roles. It offers insights into reducing friction and fostering healthier sibling…
- Bucket Emptying: Does Distraction Tame a Tantrum?
This episode discusses whether distraction helps children manage emotions, examining the 'Where's Jessica?'
- Helping Children Manage Uncertainty
This episode explores strategies for helping children navigate uncertainty, focusing on building resilience and coping mechanisms. It covers active listening, emotional validation, and establishing routines to provide a sense of safety.
- Bucket Emptying: Foundations to Building Confidence
This episode discusses the foundations for building confidence in children, covering the mind-body connection, how the brain interprets danger, and the importance of breathing techniques and exposure ladders for developing resilience.
- What I Know for Sure About Raising Confident Kids
This podcast episode shares ten parenting lessons on how to raise confident children, drawn from the host's personal experience as her children are now adults. The episode reflects on both successes and challenges in parenting.
- 5 Powerful Reflection Questions to Build Confidence in Children
This episode of How Not to Screw Up Your Kids discusses five reflection questions to help build confidence in children. It covers identifying signs of a lack of confidence and supporting children through it at any age.
- What to Say When Your Child Feels Anxious
This episode explores how parents can support children experiencing anxiety through practical techniques and effective communication strategies. The discussion covers identifying common anxiety signs and shares specific advice on what to s…
- Good Mum, Not Enough Mum: Why It Still Never Feels Like Enough
This episode explores the common feeling of not being a good enough mother, discussing why this sentiment persists despite being a good parent. The host discusses the role of guilt and conflicting internal thoughts in motherhood.
- Why Your Child Won't Listen, and One Thing to Try Tonight
This episode explores the reasons why children may not listen to their parents and offers practical tips to help improve communication and reduce stress. The discussion covers topics such as self-regulation, patterns of behavior, and the n…
- Bucket Emptying: After School Meltdowns
This episode explores the reasons behind after-school meltdowns and offers practical tips for managing these moments. Dr. Maryhan discusses why children release pent-up emotions at home and how parents can support them while creating a res…
- The Manosphere and Raising Boys
This episode explores the manosphere and offers practical advice for parents on how to help their children identify and navigate problematic online content. Dr. Maryhan discusses strategies for fostering critical thinking to support childr…
- Bucket Emptying: 5 Mindset Shifts Before Returning to Work
This episode explores the challenges parents face when returning to work after time off. Host Dr. Maryhan shares five mindset shifts to help parents adjust to their new normal and emphasizes the importance of self-compassion.
- Thriving as a Single Parent
This episode addresses common myths surrounding single parenting and offers practical advice on topics such as setting boundaries, picking battles, and building community. Dr. Maryhan provides strategies to support the wellbeing of both pa…
- Bucket Emptying: 30 Second Reset
This episode of How Not to Screw Up Your Kids offers a 30-second parenting technique designed to help manage children's meltdowns. The host discusses the physiological sigh and other methods to reduce emotional overwhelm in children before…
- The 9 Expectation Changes to Supercharge Success
This episode provides practical tips for managing parental expectations to better support children's academic success, confidence, and friendships. It builds on previous discussions regarding modelled behaviours for child development.
- Bucket Emptying: Grabbing the Opportunity
This episode explores the UK government's public consultation on a potential social media ban for those under 16. It discusses how parents can use this topic to connect with their children, encourage them to find their voice, and navigate…
- 9 Modelled Bevahiours Boosting Academic Success, Confidence & Friendships
This episode explores parental behaviors that can influence a child's academic success, confidence, and ability to form friendships. The host shares practical tips for modelling these traits, referencing examples such as skier Eileen Gu an…
- Bucket Emptying: Parenting in Public
This episode explores the concept of parenting in public spaces and challenges the idea that children should be seen and not heard. The host shares five reasons for encouraging child inclusion and offers strategies for managing behavior in…
- Managing Emotional Outbursts
This episode explores the causes of emotional outbursts in children and provides guidance on how parents can support their child's development of emotional regulation skills across different ages.
- Bucket Emptying: Pocket Money - 5 Benefits You May Not Have Considered
This episode explores five potential benefits of giving children pocket money, including developing financial skills and emotional regulation. It also touches on common questions regarding whether to tie money to chores and how to determin…
- Confidence is on the Decline
Host Dr. Maryhan speaks with Kathryn McColl of Hark about the 'confidence crisis' among children in the UK. They discuss findings from the Listen Up report, exploring factors contributing to declining confidence levels across different dem…
- Bucket Emptying: Parenting Trends and How They Affect Our Own Parenting
This episode explores how social media parenting trends, such as "FAFO" parenting, can influence parental self-perception and decision-making. The discussion emphasizes the importance of parental intuition and the lack of a one-size-fits-a…
- Let's Talk - 5 Ways to Start a Conversation About Mental Health
This episode provides five practical tips for parents to initiate conversations with their children about mental health. Topics include the connection between physical and mental well-being, using books as a tool, and creating teachable mo…
- Bucket Emptying: Valuing Children - 5 Ways to Build a Sense of Belonging
This episode explores five ways parents can foster a sense of belonging in their children to support their mental health and well-being. The discussion covers topics including attachment theory, emotional availability, and the importance o…
- Navigating Exam Stress
This episode provides practical advice for parents on how to support their children during exam periods. Topics include effective communication, creating a balanced routine, and understanding how to provide support without adding unnecessa…
- A new perspective on emotional co-regulation
This episode explores emotional co-regulation, drawing on insights from Professor Sam Wass and his research. The host discusses stress contagion and provides practical tips for meeting children where they are emotionally.
- Neuroscience and Emotional Regulation in Children, with Professor Sam Wass
Professor Sam Wass joins the podcast to discuss the neuroscience behind children's emotional regulation. The episode covers topics such as brain development, stress, co-regulation, and the science of how parents can support their children'…
- Stop Making Life Easy! 5 Proven Ways to Build Your Child's Resilience
This episode explores the importance of building resilience in children to help them persevere through challenges. The host shares five practical strategies parents can implement to foster this strength and support their children when faci…
- "Why Won't They Sleep?" The Hidden Factors Affecting Your Child's Sleep Part 2
In this episode of How Not to Screw Up Your Kids, the host discusses the factors behind children struggling to settle at bedtime, including overtiredness, puberty, and technology. The conversation also explores how to manage these challeng…
- Bucket Emptying: Creating New Habits by Stacking
This episode explores how to create positive new habits using the stacking method. It emphasizes focusing on systems rather than goals and breaking changes down into small, manageable steps.
- "Why Won't They Sleep?" The Hidden Factors Affecting Your Child's Sleep Part 1
In this episode of How Not to Screw Up Your Kids, the host explores common reasons why children struggle with sleep and provides practical tips to help them settle. This is the first part of a two-part special on bedtime habits and environ…
- Bucket Emptying: 10 Powerful Questions to Get Your Kids Talking
In this episode of How Not to Screw Up Your Kids, the host provides 10 alternative questions to help parents encourage their children to open up and share about their day. These questions are designed to move beyond typical responses like…
- The Comparison Trap: Why We Compare, When to Say Yes, and the 48-Hour Rule
This episode explains how parents and children can navigate the comparison trap. The discussion covers a five-step response framework, strategies for handling requests and saying no, and tips for managing the pressures of parenting.
- Bucket Emptying: 10 Things to Say to Your Children Every Day
This episode explores the importance of providing daily affirmation to children to build their confidence and resilience. The host shares ten specific phrases parents can use to support their children's emotional well-being.
- The Power of Failed Goals: Why Broken Resolutions Build Confidence and Capability in Children
In this episode, the host discusses the value of setting New Year resolutions, explaining how even 'failed' goals can foster personal growth, confidence, and habit-building in children. The conversation covers strategies for setting realis…
- The Best of 2025
This episode features a compilation of highlights from the How Not to Screw Up Your Kids podcast, covering topics such as screen time, parenting children with disabilities, ADHD, and identity development. It serves as a summary of the best…
- Merry Christmas: The Best of How Not to Screw Up Your Kids
This episode features a holiday compilation of highlights from the past year of the How Not to Screw Up Your Kids podcast, covering topics like raising boys, parenting challenges, building confidence, and the benefits of outdoor time.
- Bucket Emptying: Start Right, End Right - Daily Routines for Calmer, Happier Kids
This episode explores strategies for establishing daily routines to foster a calmer home environment. The host provides five practical tips for starting the day and two habits for the evening to encourage cooperation and compassion with ch…
- The Reconnected: Transform Your Parenting in 20 Minutes a Week
Emma and Eleanor from The Reconnected join Dr. Maryhan to discuss the importance of connecting with children and oneself. The conversation covers the benefits of breathwork, managing the impact of technology on family relationships, and fi…
- The Secret to Child Cooperation: 7 Psychology Proven Strategies
This episode explores the psychology of child cooperation and presents seven practical strategies for parents, including validating feelings, offering choices, and focusing on process over results. The host also highlights the importance o…
- Boost Your Child's Confidence in 10 Days
This episode provides a 10-day plan to help parents build their child's self-confidence. The host discusses actionable strategies, including descriptive praise, growth-oriented self-talk, and the Seven Cs framework.
- How to Avoid Resentment
This episode explores the causes of resentment between parents and children and offers strategies for prevention. Key topics covered include communicating needs, managing expectations, and learning how to delegate.
- Supporting Our Children Through Separation and Divorce
Dr. Maryhan interviews James Hayhurst, founder of The Parents' Promise, to discuss how parents can support their children during separation and divorce. They explore ways to ensure children feel safe and loved while navigating these transi…
- The Christmas Survival Kit for Parents
This episode of How Not to Screw Up Your Kids offers five tips to help parents manage holiday stress and navigate the pressures of the festive season. The discussion covers planning ahead, setting realistic expectations, and having difficu…
- Helping Children with Setbacks
This episode explores how parents can help children navigate daily setbacks by reframing them as opportunities for growth. It offers a practical framework and resources, such as exposure ladders, to help build resilience, confidence, and c…
- Bucket Emptying: 6 Things Your Children Worry About... and What to Do About Them
This episode of How Not to Screw Up Your Kids explores six common worries children face and provides practical strategies for parents to help them cope. The discussion emphasizes empowering children to manage their emotions and build indep…
- How to Deal with Academic & Exam Stress
This episode of How Not to Screw Up Your Kids offers practical tips for parents to help their children manage academic and exam stress. It covers common parental mistakes to avoid and focuses on strategies for supporting kids through homew…