Why Closure is a Myth: The Philosophy of Grief and Relearning How to Live with Thomas Attig

THOMAS ATTIG holds BA and PhD degrees from Northwestern University and Washington University in St. Louis. At Bowling Green State University, while Chair, he and his colleagues established the world’s first PhD Program in Applied Philosophy.  A Fellow of the International Work Group on Death, Dying, and Bereavement, he has received a Lifetime Achievement Award for Death Education from the International Network on Personal Meaning, Death Educator and Lifetime Achievement Awards from the Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Robert Fulton Founder’s Award from the Center for Death Education and Bioethics at the University of Wisconsin La Crosse. Get in touch with Thomas Attig https://griefsheart.com/?i=1 Contact Kendra Rinaldi and sign up for the newsletter   https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/ Show Highlights An Early Exposure to Death: Thomas shares how growing up in a large family in Illinois, where his mother actively read letters detailing the passing of relatives and took him to sit with dying family members in the hospital, uniquely set him up to be comfortable with the uncomfortable reality of death. Becoming a "One-Man Band" in Grief Studies: How Thomas shifted from studying math to applied philosophy, ultimately creating and teaching a comprehensive university course on death and dying that went beyond mere clinical or ethical issues. Grieving as "Relearning the World": Thomas reveals why traditional models like the "stages of grief" often fall short for the bereaved, proposing instead that grieving is an active, ongoing process of relearning how to live in a world that is completely changed by loss . Wisdom vs. Science: Discussing his 2025 book, Seeking Wisdom in Death's Shadows , Thomas explains why caregiving for grieving souls should focus on seeking individual wisdom rather than relying solely on "evidence-based" scientific predictability , because every soul and every loss is entirely unique. The Myth of Closure: We discuss why treating grief as a "problem to be solved" is a mistake , and why aspiring for closure is silly because relearning how to live is a lifelong, ongoing project. Defining the Vocabulary of Loss: Thomas breaks down the distinct differences between bereavement (the state of being deprived), grieving (the involuntary reactions and our deliberate responses), and mourning (traditional or culturally defined practices). Embracing "Sorrow-Friendly Practices": Exploring his book Catching Your Breath in Grief , Thomas encourages grievers to stop suppressing their emotions. He shares practical ways to attend to your soul’s pain, including journaling, exploring the arts, leaning into faith, and taking extraordinary experiences—like feeling a loved one speak to you—seriously . The Price of Love: Thomas beautifully reads a passage from his book reminding us that the pain of missing someone is the inevitable companion to the joy of sharing life with them , and that avoiding love out of fear of sorrow would cost us everything.

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