From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer
Psychology & Relationships
About
Healing does not end at crisis. It leads to connection with yourself and the people you love. Join therapist and author Geoff Steurer and his wife Jody as they explore how couples repair and stay connected.
Episodes
- Just Calm Down
This episode discusses the ineffectiveness of telling people to "just calm down" during tense conversations, especially after betrayal. It explains that such pressure can increase shame and disconnection by ignoring the nervous system's re…
- It Wasn't About the Sex
This episode of From Crisis to Connection discusses the myth that sexual betrayal is about sex. It explains that focusing on sexual performance prevents couples from addressing the deeper emotional and relational work necessary for healing…
- "I Stopped. Why Isn't That Enough?"
This episode discusses the misconception that healing after betrayal concludes once certain actions are taken. It highlights how pressure to finish healing can cause disconnection, emphasizing that sustained recovery requires ongoing open…
- Stop Listening to Everyone
This episode of From Crisis to Connection discusses how external advice and opinions, even from well-meaning individuals, can complicate the healing process after betrayal. It explores how to differentiate between supportive comments and t…
- You Know What to Do. Your Nervous System Doesn't.
Geoff and Jody Steurer explore the disconnect between knowing how to act and actually doing so, particularly following betrayal. The episode addresses how trauma affects responses and frames imperfect efforts as integral to the healing pro…
- Your Emotions Aren't the Problem
We hear this all the time from couples: “I just need to get my emotions under control.” It sounds responsible and careful. But in relationship recovery post-betrayal, this belief often keeps couples stuck. In this episode, we challenge the…
- Why "I Don't Need Anyone" Isn't Healing - with Amie Woolsey
After betrayal or divorce, many people reach a powerful turning point. You finally feel stable on your own. You feel stronger. You feel less dependent. And sometimes a new belief begins to form. Maybe needing people was the problem all alo…
- If It's Abuse, Can We Still Do This Work?
This is one of the hardest conversations couples face after betrayal. If gaslighting, manipulation, secrecy, blame, or coercion were part of the relationship, those are abusive dynamics. That reality needs to be named clearly. But once the…
- Same Conversation, Same Pain, Same Result
If you are the betrayed partner, it makes sense that you likely want more conversation, not less. You want answers. Clarity. Openness. You want your partner to sit with you in the pain instead of avoiding it. If you are the one who broke t…
- Working Harder is Making Things Worse
After betrayal, many couples do everything right. They read the books. They go to therapy. They have the hard conversations. They show up every day. And still, they are exhausted. In this episode of From Crisis to Connection , Geoff and Jo…
- When Romance Feels Unsafe after Betrayal
After betrayal, romance is often one of the first casualties. What once felt natural can suddenly feel confusing, pressured, performative, or even unsafe. And when holidays like Valentine’s Day roll around, those tensions can intensify. In…
- When Relationship Work Makes Things Worse
After betrayal, most couples assume the relationship is the place to start. Something has been broken, so the instinct is to talk more, reconnect, and repair the bond as quickly as possible. Wanting relief, closeness, and a sense of normal…
- Stop Asking if it's Working
After betrayal, reassurance becomes a quiet but powerful force in many relationships. Sometimes it shows up as a direct question. More often it appears as checking, hinting, watching reactions, or scanning for signs that things are getting…
- Is it Fear or Actual Danger?
There are moments in recovery when something small suddenly feels overwhelming. A pause in conversation. A shift in tone. A missing detail. What looked ordinary a second ago now feels charged, and before either partner understands what hap…
- Can You Heal without Forgiving?
After betrayal, forgiveness is often introduced almost immediately as the goal. People may say that healing depends on it, that moving forward requires it, or that forgiveness is the sign you are doing better. For betrayed partners, that m…
- Is There Room for the Betrayer's Pain?
Is There Room for the Betrayer’s Pain? Betrayal recovery often centers, understandably, on the pain of the betrayed partner. That pain is visible, consuming, and destabilizing. But beneath the surface, the recovering partner is often carry…
- Using Recovery to Manipulate, Control, and Confuse
Recovery can look convincing on the outside and still be deeply dishonest underneath. The meetings are attended. The books are read. The language sounds right. And yet, something does not feel settled or safe. In this episode of From Crisi…
- Does the Type of Betrayal Matter?
When betrayal enters a relationship, one of the first questions people ask is, How bad was it really ? Was it pornography, emotional connection, secret messages, a one time physical event, or something ongoing? Many hope that identifying t…
- You Can Face What You Fear
Avoidance is one of the most common reactions to emotional pain. It shows up as silence, staying busy, withdrawing, shutting down, or convincing yourself that “things will sort themselves out.” At first it feels protective. Over time, it b…
- A Holiday Message from Us
The holidays can stir up a full range of emotions, especially when you are carrying the weight of relational pain or the uncertainty of the healing process. In this episode, we step away from our usual structure and simply sit with you, of…
- What Really Determines Whether Healing Moves Forward
After betrayal, even small mistakes can feel enormous. A forgotten detail, a defensive tone, or a moment of old behavior can land like a major setback. In this episode, Geoff and Jody talk about why these moments feel so threatening and wh…
- Why You're Not Healing at the Same Speed
One of the most common fears couples face after betrayal is the feeling of being out of sync. One partner seems to be moving faster. The other feels stuck or confused. One wants to talk. The other wants space. And both start wondering, Why…
- Shouldn't Love Be Enough?
We grow up believing that if someone truly loves us, they’ll just know what we need. That love will automatically teach them how to comfort, protect, and show up in the right ways. But when betrayal or disconnection happens, that belief ge…
- Calming the Storm Together
After betrayal, both partners are caught in a storm of overwhelming emotions and survival responses. The betrayed partner feels the instinct to pull away for safety. The recovering partner often feels paralyzed by shame and the fear of doi…
- "But It Only Happened Once..."
We often hear minimizing phrases like “It only happened once” or “Why make such a big deal out of it?” The intention may be to calm fears or move forward quickly—but instead, it often creates more confusion, pressure, and disconnection. In…
- Protecting Your Relationship from an Emotional Affair
Most people assume infidelity only matters when it becomes physical, but emotional infidelity can cut just as deep—and often deeper. When your partner gives emotional intimacy, attention, and affection to someone else, it leaves you questi…
- Telling the Truth Isn't Enough
We’ve all heard the phrase “honesty is the best policy.” But after betrayal, many couples find that simply telling the truth doesn’t always bring the healing they hoped for. In fact, sometimes the way truth is shared causes even more pain,…
- The Truth Behind Overreacting in Betrayal Trauma Recovery
If you’re the betrayed partner, you know what it’s like to be hit with waves of emotion that feel impossible to control. One moment you’re holding it together, and the next you’re flooded with anger, grief, or fear. You may even wonder if…
- Trust Isn't Built How You Think
When trust has been broken, the recovering partner often feels pressure to prove they can be trusted again. They may follow instructions perfectly, track progress, and work hard to “get it right.” But instead of bringing closeness, all tha…
- Are You Behind in Your Recovery?
Do you ever feel like you’re falling behind in healing? You look around and it seems like everyone else is moving forward while you’re stuck, spinning, or even slipping backward. The truth is—you might be doing all the right things, but he…
- Betrayal: Accountability vs. Expectations
After betrayal, couples often find themselves trapped in a cycle. The unfaithful partner wants to explain, while the betrayed partner longs for real accountability. Instead of bringing clarity, explanations often sound like excuses. The be…
- Who Goes First in Recovery?
After betrayal, many couples get stuck in a painful waiting game. The betrayed partner wants proof of safety before risking vulnerability, while the recovering partner waits for reassurance before stepping forward. Both feel paralyzed, and…
- We're Stable, But Are We Actually Healing?
Free Video Training Resource for Betrayed Partners: https://www.geoffsteurer.com/romance-after-betrayal This episode is taken from a presentation I gave at the Betrayal Healing Conference earlier this year, where I shared what later-…
- Why We're Pressing Pause (and What Comes Next)
After more than 300 weekly episodes, we are taking a short pause from From Crisis to Connection . In this brief update, we share why we’re stepping back for a couple of months. It’s not because of burnout but to make space for reflection,…
- When Men Are Betrayed: Breaking the Silence Around Male Betrayal Trauma
When it comes to betrayal, we often hear one story: the man cheats, the woman is hurt, and support rallies around her. But what happens when the script is flipped? In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Adam Nisenson , a coach and…
- Building a Marriage Team
In early recovery, survival is the focus. But what does it look like for couples who’ve done the foundational healing work to move beyond crisis and start rebuilding true partnership? In this powerful and relatable episode, we sit down wit…
- Sex Addiction: Is My Husband in Good Recovery?
You’ve stopped the behavior. You’re going to the meetings. You’re doing everything the books and podcasts say to do. So why doesn’t your partner trust you yet? In this honest and challenging conversation, we talk with Roland Cochrun , a re…
- Covert Abuse in Relationships
Betrayal trauma is devastating on its own—but for many betrayed partners, there’s a deeper, more disorienting layer they can’t name: covert abuse. In this eye-opening conversation, we explore how covert abuse operates beneath the surface o…
- The Danger of Unhealed Betrayal
Why do some people heal from betrayal and rebuild their lives, while others stay stuck in pain and resentment for years—or even decades? In this powerful episode, we speak with Dr. Debi Silber , founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation…
- How to Heal Body Image After Betrayal
After betrayal, it’s common for women to turn inward, blaming their bodies and questioning their worth. In this important conversation, we talk with Dr. Lauren Barnes , therapist, researcher, and director of clinical training at BYU’s Marr…
- What About the Kids? How Betrayal Impacts Children and How to Support Them
When betrayal strikes a marriage, the pain is immediate for the couple—but what about the children? In this powerful and eye-opening episode, we speak with Morgan Ellsworth , a board-certified betrayal trauma coach and MFT student, who bri…
- A Non-Pathologizing Approach to Our Imperfections
What if the things you dislike most about yourself aren’t signs of failure—but invitations to heal? In this episode, I sit down with Haley Hinkle, associate marriage and family therapist and IFS-informed practitioner, to explore a compassi…
- Unmotivated or Unable? How to Tell the Difference
In this follow-up to our popular episode “What to Do When Your Partner Lacks Motivation,” we dive deeper into an important listener question: How do you tell the difference between a lack of motivation and a lack of ability in your partner…
- Why Some People Stay Stuck in Betrayal Trauma (And How to Move Forward)
Healing from betrayal trauma is a deeply personal journey, but why do some people seem to heal and move forward while others stay stuck? In today’s episode, we welcome back Dr. Jill Manning , a renowned therapist, researcher, and speaker w…
- What to Do When You're the Unmotivated Partner
Have you ever felt stuck, unmotivated, or unsure how to move forward —especially in your relationship? In this episode, we’re flipping the script from our last discussion on what to do when your partner is unmotivated and speaking directly…
- Caring for Children While Healing from Betrayal
When betrayal happens in a marriage, the emotional impact on a betrayed partner is overwhelming. But what about the children? How can a mother (or father) navigate their own healing while still being present for their children? In this pow…
- What to Do When Your Partner Lacks Motivation
What happens when you’re motivated, driven, and actively working on personal growth—but your partner isn’t? In this episode, we explore the challenges of navigating a relationship when one partner struggles with motivation —whether due to…
- The Impact of Agency on Mental Health - with Brianna Holmes - Episode 284
In this episode, we explore the intersection of faith, mental health, and agency —how our ability to choose extends beyond simple decisions and impacts how we respond to betrayal, anxiety, depression, and life’s unexpected challenges. Our…
- Can I Learn to Connect? - Episode 283
In today’s episode, we’re talking about something so many people ask— What if I’m bad at connection? What if I don’t know how to connect? If you’ve ever felt disconnected or unsure how to build meaningful relationships, you’re not alone. W…
- 5 Key Things Couples Who Heal from Betrayal Do Differently - Episode 282
One of the most common questions I hear from couples navigating betrayal recovery is, “Is it even possible for us to heal?” If you’ve ever wondered the same thing, you’re not alone. In today’s episode, I’m sharing the five key things I’ve…