Friendless
Psychology & Relationships
About
Friendless is a podcast about the strange, tender, often painful work of staying connected. Host James Avramenko talks to writers, thinkers, activists, and everyday people about loneliness, platonic love, community, mental health, and what it actually takes to build a life with people in it. No easy answers, no toxic positivity, no pretending the hard parts aren't hard. Just honest, sometimes uncomfortable, often moving conversations from somewhere in the void. But always fun and safety.
Episodes
- on belonging, grief, and identity (with special guest Eddy Boudel Tan) Live at the Book Warehouse
What happens when you've spent your whole life fitting a mold — and you finally decide you've had enough? This week, James sits down with Eddy Boudel Tan, Vancouver-born author of The Tiger and the Cosmonaut , recorded live at Book Warehou…
- so you're no longer mentally ill...(DBT mini-season finale!)
In this final episode of the DBT micro-season, James walks back through the terrain — mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness — not to reteach, but to reflect. What landed. What didn't. What sur…
- Celebrating Independent Bookstore Day (with special guests Cathy Jesson & MLA Christine Boyle)
It's Independent Bookstore Day, and to celebrate, Friendless is doing a double feature — two short conversations recorded at the Bookshelf, both circling the same question: what do bookstores actually do for us that nothing else can? First…
- balancing boundaries: the GIVE and FAST approach (DBT mini-season part 8)
There's a version of kindness that isn't actually kindness. It's saying yes when you mean no, showing up depleted and resentful, and building relationships on a quiet lie — the lie that you're fine, that it's all okay, that you have no lim…
- Stop Hinting, Start Asking: The Dear Man Skill for Assertive Communication (DBT mini-season part 7)
Most of us were never taught how to ask for what we need — we were taught how to be nice, how to be agreeable, and how to silently hope the other person would just figure it out. And when they didn't, we either resented them or came in way…
- A False Sense of Safety: Iona Whishaw on Trust, Community, and the Lies We Tell Ourselves (Live at the Book Warehouse)
What does it take to truly belong somewhere — and what happens when you didn't know that's what you needed? This week on Friendless, James sits down with Iona Whishaw — bestselling author of the Lane Winslow Mystery series — for a live con…
- when your emotions are lying to you (and what to do instead) DBT mini-season pt.6
Your feelings are real. But what if acting on them is making things worse? In this episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko continues the DBT series with three tools for navigating emotions without being controlled by them. We cov…
- What Is Forgivable? A Conversation With Robyn Harding (Live from the Book Warehouse)
This week on a very special episode of Friendless recorded live at the Book Warehouse on Main Street, host James Avramenko interviews thriller author Robin Harding about her novel Strangers in the Villa. They discuss the inspiration for th…
- Naming What You Actually Feel (or 'Fine' Doesn't Cut It) (DBT mini-season part 5)
This week on a very special episode of Friendless, we ask what if the goal of emotional maturity isn't to stop feeling things but to stop fighting them? In Part 5 of Friendless's deep dive into DBT emotional regulation, James unpacks…
- Radical Acceptance Bro! (Distress Tolerance pt. 2)
Distress Tolerance Pt. 2: Self-Soothing & Radical Acceptance This week on a very special episode of Friendless, we're continuing our exploration of Distress Tolerance skills as the DBT mini-season hits the halfway mark! STOP and TIPP — las…
- Don't Make It Worse: Distress Tolerance Tools (DBT mini-season part 3)
This week on a very special episode of Friendless, we're leaving the mindfulness skills behind and stepping into DBT's toolkit for emotional emergencies: the moments when you're at an eight or nine on the chaos scale, logic has stepped out…
- Mutual Survival: On Community, Grief, and Resistance (with special guest Garth Mullins) LIVE at the Book Warehouse
This week on a very special episode of Friendless, your pal and host of the show James Avramenko sits down with journalist, activist, podcaster, and author Garth Mullins — live at Book Warehouse on Main Street in Vancouver — for one of the…
- The Guardrails: Mindfulness HOW Skills (DBT mini-season ep. 2)
In this very special episode of Friendless, we're continuing the DBT micro-season diving into the how skills of mindfulness: non-judgmentally, one-mindfully, and effectively. If those sound like made-up DBT words, you're not wrong—but what…
- Finding the Off-Ramp From Runaway Thoughts (DBT Micro-Season — Mindfulness Part 1)
in this very special episode of Friendless, we're kicking off the DBT micro-season with Mindfulness Part 1, and no — this is not the sit-cross-legged-and-think-about-nothing version. This is practical mindfulness. The kind that gives you a…
- WTF is DBT? (Mini-Season Intro)
In this very special episode of Friendless, your host James Avramenko finally launches the long-promised DBT mini-season. This introductory episode explores why Dialectical Behavior Therapy isn't just for people with BPD diagnoses—it's pra…
- Sometimes Things Work Out (LIVE at the Book Warehouse with Special Guest Susin Nielsen!)
This week on a very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko welcomes acclaimed author Susin Nielsen for a live recording at Book Warehouse Vancouver. Susin's latest novel "Snap" tells the story of three unlikely friends b…
- Practicing Resilience and Gratitude (with special guest Dr. Greg Hammer)
This week on a very special episode of Friendless, I sit down with Dr. Greg Hammer—pediatric intensive care physician, recently retired Stanford professor, and author of A Mindful Teen —to talk about what we're actually doing to young peop…
- Sobriety and the Art of Queer Friendships (with special guest Will Pacheco)
In this very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko delves into the complexities of friendship, sobriety, and mental health with his dear friend William Raphael Pacheco. Join them as they discuss the impact of family names, th…
- The Art of Writing and Belonging (with special guest Genki Ferguson)
In this very special episode of 'Friendless,' recorded live at the Book Warehouse on Main Street, host welcomes guest Genki Ferguson, an author based in Vancouver. Genki shares insights on his writing career, experiences working at Book Wa…
- 2026? I Hardly 2025-er! (Year End Retrospective Special!)
In this very special episode of Friendless, join host James Avramenko in a look back on the year that was 2025. He reflects on the highs and lows of the past year. James opens up about his medical leave, mental health, and the complexities…
- Love At First Sight (with special guest Lee Smith)
In this very special episode of "Friendless," host James Avramenko sits down with dear friend and special guest Lee Smith for an honest, vulnerable conversation about connection, identity, and the unexpected magic of friendship. Together,…
- The Woo and The Boo (with special guest Gavin Harper)
This week on a very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko welcomes back one of his best friends, Gavin Harper, for an honest, heartwarming, and hilarious catch-up. Together they dive deep into the complexities of names and id…
- Being the Great Optimist (with special guest Dust Cwaine)
This week on a very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko sits down with one of Vancouver’s premier drag musicians and local icon, Dust Cwaine. From their first Instagram DM to this lively conversation, James and Dust dive in…
- Live Slow, Die Whenever (Birthday Special)
In this very special birthday episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko reflects on turning 38 and the internal tension he feels about birthdays. He discusses setting resolutions around his birthday instead of New Year's, focusing on sel…
- Finding Your Village (with special guest Florence Ann Romano)
In this very special episode, host James Avramenko welcomes Florence Ann Romano, author of 'Build Your Village: A Guide to Finding Joy in Community in Every Stage of Life.' Florence Ann discusses the inspiration behind her book, sparked by…
- I'm Not at Capacity, I Just Don't Want To (Solo)
In this solo episode, James Avramenko returns from a short break to unpack a whirlwind of thoughts, feelings, and cultural critiques. From creative burnout and refusing the algorithm grind, to the power (and misuse) of the word "capacity,"…
- Considering the Lobster (with special guest Tessa Irwin)
On this very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko sits down with his longtime friend Tessa Irwin, an assistant director with a decade of experience in the Canadian film industry. Together, they dive into the highs and lows o…
- The Liberating Power of Play (with special guest Nicole Thompson)
In this very special episode of "Friendless," host James Avramenko sits down with the dynamic Nicole Thompson—psychotherapist, pleasure activist, and host of Modern Anarchy—for a wide-ranging conversation on the intersections of pleasure,…
- The Seroquel is kicking in (reflections on June)
This week on a very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko brings you a reflective episode from his bed, touching on various themes such as the June wrap-up, the struggle to balance awareness of current events, and sharing an…
- The Monkey Made Me Do It (with special guest Trevor Hinton)
In this very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko reconnects with his long-time friend and former theater colleague, Trevor Hinton. Despite the years and distance apart, their profound conversation delves into themes of vuln…
- Cause Ya Gotta Have Faith (with special guest Zazu Payne)
In this very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko dives into an insightful and heartfelt conversation with Zazu Payne, a biomedical engineer, board game enthusiast, and self-proclaimed 'friendship guru'. Zazu shares his jour…
- How to Survive the Internet (with special guest Sam Murdock)
This week on a very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko sits down with Sam Murdock—tech wizard, board game buff, and the behind-the-scenes moderator of Codenames Live. Fresh from his adventures as a Twitch streamer (pants o…
- On Isolation vs Solitude or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love 50 Cent (Reflections on May)
In this very special solo episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko wraps up the month of May with honesty, humor, and plenty of personal insight. James digs into the duality of solitude versus loneliness, celebrates the small victories…
- The Hidden Benefits of Bullying (with special guest Magda Baker)
This week on a very special episode of "Friendless," host James Avramenko welcomes the inimitable Magda Baker—singer, songwriter, producer, actor, and co-founder of the queer arts magazine Beautiful Trash for Beautiful People—for a candid,…
- Rebuilding Connection After Mistakes (with special guest Dr. Christine Cooper)
In this very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko welcomes Dr. Christine Cooper — pharmacist, author, and self-proclaimed “reforming mean girl.” Christine opens up about her journey from being a not-so-nice kid to learning a…
- Finding Light in Dark Stories (with special guest Mel Zee)
In this candid and thought-provoking episode of "Friendless," host James Avramenko welcomes content creator and true crime aficionado Mel Zee for a wide-ranging exploration of friendship, online connection, and the psychology of digital co…
- Sunshine Monkeys Rejoice! (Reflections on April)
Join me as I reflect on the month of April, discussing the return of the sun and its impact on my mental health, personal growth, and the delicate balance of maintaining connections while undergoing distress tolerance therapy. In this epis…
- You Don't Need to Drown (with special guest Brett Cassidy)
In this episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko welcomes Brett Cassidy, a singer, songwriter, and producer. The two reconnect after years of following each other's careers online and share a deep conversation on friendship, community,…
- The Intersection of Art and Activism (with special guest Amy J. Lester)
In this very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko interviews the multifaceted Amy Lester, a political organiser, clown, filmmaker, and actress. James and Amy dive deep into the complexities of the clown community, the challe…
- The Art of the Swerve (with special guest "Ravenous" Randy Myers)
In this episode of 'Friendless,' host James Avramenko interviews "Ravenous" Randy Myers, a multi-talented performer known for his work in professional wrestling, comedy, and various forms of entertainment. Randy shares his journey from bei…
- Don't Call It A Comeback
In this special comeback episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko returns from a five-month hiatus to discuss his personal journey, the importance of self-respect, and the evolving themes of the show. James reflects on the challen…
- How to Love in a F*cked Up World (with special guest Dean Spade)
In this episode of 'Friendless,' host James Avramenko meets and converses with Dean Spade—a lawyer, writer, and activist known for his work on queer and trans liberation. Dean discusses his new book, 'Love in a Fucked Up World,' and explor…
- Refocusing Jurassic Park's Feminist Lens (with special guest Hannah McGregor)
This week on a very special episode of "Friendless", join host James Avramenko as he sits down with the insightful Hannah McGregor, author and co-host of the popular podcast "Material Girls." Hannah, who penned "Clever Girl," shares her fe…
- Halloween Spook-tacular!
🎃 Spooktacular Halloween Special 🎃 In this chilling Halloween special of Friendless , host James Avramenko dives deep into the eerie world of horror movies and books, sharing his favourite spine-tingling picks and answering listener ques…
- How Do Adults Make Friends?
In this very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko tackles the age-old question: How do adults make friends? James shares his experiences at a speed dating event, where he delved into various fascinating topics like die…
- Building Lasting Connections (with special guest Keira Daniels)
In this very special episode of "Friendless," host James Avramenko welcomes back a beloved guest, Keira Daniels. Their conversation is a delightful blend of humour, introspection, and valuable life lessons on aging, friendships, and stayin…
- The Imp of the Perverse (September Wrap-Up Special)
In this very special episode of Friendless , host James Avramenko marks his one-year sobriety milestone by delving into his journey of self-discovery, emotional regulation, and the importance of building a robust support system. James open…
- Building Online Communities (with special guest Tim Riel)
In this very special episode of "Friendless," host James Avramenko sits down with Tim Riel ( @nerdincorrect) to explore the intricate world of community building, the realities of adult friendships, and the importance of small, thoughtful…
- Feeling Like a Fraud? Let's Talk Imposter Syndrome
In this week's episode of Friendless , host James Avramenko kicks off a fresh deep dive series by opening up about a topic close to his heart: Imposter Syndrome. Drawing from his personal experiences and professional teaching background, J…
- i feel that way about garlic too (with special guest jaz papadopoulos)
In this very special comeback episode of Friendless , host James Avramenko welcomes back the talented poet and writer, jaz papadopoulos. jaz shares their rich experiences and profound journeys from studying critical theory to thrivin…