Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
Comedy
About
A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Hosted by siblings Xandy and Christine Schiefer.
Episodes
- 389: Reviews of YMCAs
This episode of Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet focuses on reviews of YMCAs. The discussion is interspersed with promotional content for various services and products.
- 388: Reviews of Home Goods with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson
Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson join the Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet podcast to review home goods. The episode also includes advertisements for Progressive, Rocket Money, and Rula.
- 387: Reviews of 7-Eleven
This episode of Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet focuses on reviews of 7-Eleven. It includes advertisements for Nutrafol, Skylight, Talkiatry, and Home Chef.
- 386: Reviews of Umbrellas
In episode 386, titled 'Reviews of Umbrellas,' the host addresses rumors about having irritable bowel syndrome. A promotional offer for Zenni is also mentioned.
- 385: Reviews of Caves with National Park After Dark
This episode of Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet reviews Mammoth Cave, drawing content from National Park After Dark. Privacy policy details are also mentioned.
- 384: Reviews of Airport Shops
Sarah what the fuck is your problem? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 383: Reviews of Easter Egg Hunts
She could probably beat up some seven year olds and she could definitely beat up some zero year olds See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 382: Reviews of Allergy Meds
Aries are going through it right now See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 381: Between You and Us
It's the moon, but worse. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 380: Reviews of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives with Bridger Winegar
I got humped in the face Hungryroot: For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life at hungryroot.com/beachtoosandy code: BEACHTOOSANDY Momentous: Head to livemomentous.com, and use promo code BEAC…
- 379: Reviews of Dude Ranches
The cookies didn't compensate for the abuse. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 378: Reviews of Televangelists
You can't spell spent without repent! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 377: Reviews of Jewelry
Don't worry, we fired Diane for that. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 376: Reviews of Party Buses
We're going to Ibiza! Hungryroot: For a limited time get 40% off your first box plus get a free item in every box for life at hungryroot.com/beachtoosandy and use code beachtoosandy Talkiatry: Head to talkiatry.com/beach and complete the s…
- 375: Reviews of Benihana with Byron Marin and Ryan Bergara
Chef name was Edwin, very sensual and playful with his entertainment. Watch For Your Amusement at https://www.youtube.com/@fyapod and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California…
- 374: Reviews of Puzzles
I put a 2 million dollar puzzle together and all I got was this lousy QR code See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 373: Reviews of Novelty Kitchen Tools
We told you not to put the egg topper in the dishwasher. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 372: Reviews of Locksmiths
Call the Locksmith!!! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 371: Reviews of Old-Timey Candy
Guess what, busters! Guess what, busters? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 370: Reviews of Hangover Cures
Happy wonderwall to you and yours and bApp. -- SPONSORS: Check out https://boxiecat.com/beach for a discount on BoxieCat's self-cleaning litter! -- We have merch!! https://www.beachtoosandy.store See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/pri…
- 369: Reviews of Mall Santas
2 surfs,a quick dance, a few mushrooms and 2 giant connect 4 games See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 368: Reviews of Pet Psychics
Sorry, pet communicators. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 367: Reviews of Renaissance Faires with Bryan Green
This is gonna ruin the tour... What tour? The moose tour. Check out The Commercial Break! https://www.tcbpodcast.com Follow Bryan! https://instagram.com/bryanwgreen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Not…
- 366: Reviews of Soup Recipes
My soup is full of eels. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 365: Reviews of Turkey Trots
To see Xandy at his most athletic, check out our Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/beachtoosandy We also have new merch!! https://www.beachtoosandy.store See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at h…
- 364: Reviews of Labubus
Give us money so Christine can buy more Labubus for her legion: www.patreon.com/BeachTooSandy See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 363: Reviews of Great Wolf Lodge
Tune in next week for 364: Reviews of Great Wolf Spider Lodge Stuff here: www.beachtoosandy.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 362: Reviews of Hospitals with Nurse Blake
Throw on your finest Armani tracksuit, because we've got hospitals to complain about. See Nurse Blake on tour or on the open sea!! https://www.nurseblake.com/ Follow him on Instagram @Nurse.Blake and TikTok @NurseBlake Join our Patreon for…
- 361: Reviews of Halloween Costumes
Happy Halloween! Or Sad Halloween in Xandy's case! I don't feel like writing anything else here today. Go google us or something. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do…
- 360: Reviews of Pumpkin Recipes
Last show of our 2025 tour is this Saturday!! Get your tickets! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
- 359: Live in Plano, TX
We're excited to share our Plano show with you!! Just three more shows left: Seattle tonight, Portland tomorrow, and New York on the 25th. Get your tickets! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy…
- 358: Reviews of Abandoned Places
Tune in next week for another edition of The Priestly Priest Report. See us LIVE!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.…
- 357: Reviews of Revolving Sushi
You’ve been revolving around this sushi restaurant for 27 years! See us LIVE!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://ww…
- 356: Reviews of Hair Removal Products
Midwest shows are happening now! Kansas City tonight! Omaha tomorrow! St. Louis Friday! Malort Sunday!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for free! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beacht…
- 355: Reviews of Community Theaters
Send in the clowns! See us LIVE!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://w…
- 354: Reviews of Wine Bars
Taking a break from Cracker Barrel content...... for now. See us LIVE!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch cli…
- 353: Reviews of the Old Cracker Barrel Logo
SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP See us LIVE!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://w…
- 352: Reviews of the New Cracker Barrel Logo
Already looks like we need to do a follow-up episode... See us LIVE!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips…
- 351: Reviews of Jo-Ann Fabrics
Support elevator victims making movies: https://gofund.me/9a321873 See us LIVE!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosand…
- 350: Reviews of Popsicles
To see the worst SpongeBob popsicle, visit https://www.instagram.com/beachtoosandy Support weirdos making movies: https://gofund.me/9a321873 Indy and Detroit here we come!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tou r Join our Patreon for…
- 349: Reviews of T.J. Maxx
This episode is best enjoyed in a T.J. Maxx bathroom. Support weirdos making movies: https://gofund.me/9a321873 Indy and Detroit here we come!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tou r Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patre…
- 348: Reviews of Banned Books
Support weirdos making movies: https://gofund.me/9a321873 Indy and Detroit here we come!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoos…
- 347: Reviews of GameStop
Not to be confused with GayStop Schiefer Madness Productions appreciates you: https://gofund.me/9a321873 We're coming to Indy and Detroit next!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.c…
- 346: Reviews of Petting Zoos
Support Xandy's dreams if you want but no pressure: https://gofund.me/9a321873 We're coming to Indy and Detroit next!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have mer…
- 345: Reviews of Build-A-Bear Workshop
Grab mom’s credit card, we’re going to BAB! San Francisco show is TONIGHT!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's…
- 344: QVC Reviews
We love VPH aka Our Lady of QVC Come see us in California!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.…
- 343: Reviews of Cocktail Recipes
I'll take a Dirty Jimmy Carter on the rocks, please. SEE US LIVE! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon to send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stre…
- 342: Reviews of Bicycle Stores
This episode we learn how to fix your bike's jickle flamber. We're performing in Florida tonight and tomorrow!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon to send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch…
- 341: Reviews of Farmers' Markets
Don't listen if you have a mealworm phobia. See you in Florida in one week!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy…
- 340: Reviews of Hard Seltzer
Be careful listening to this episode while in ketosis. Our tour starts in two weeks!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.st…