Awkward...
Awkward and embarrassing things happen, it is all part of the human experience. How we handle these experiences can impact us greatly. When you are sitting on the toilet at public restroom and you see a stranger through the crack in the door. When you have someone at your house and they will not leave. When there is confusion between a hug and a handshake. (A hugshake) When you meet someone at the grocery store and should know their name but don't When people you don't really know sing happy birthday to you. When you say "You too" after someone says,"Have a good vacation" and you thought they were going to say, "Have a good day When you have said "What" two times already and still have no idea what the person is saying. When you go to a party and the only person you know goes to the bathroom for what seems like forever. When you are taking your dog for a quick walk and your retired neighbor stops you for a chat. Being human is awkward but we can get good at it. Just watch a toddler learning to walk. They make a lot of mistakes, take a lot of tumbles, get some bruises but as they practice and learn from their awkwardness they eventually learn to walk and run and skateboard and ski and surfboard and ride a bike and do all manner of things that overcome the awkwardness. Life is awkward and is filled with embarrassing moments. What purpose does embarrassment have? Guys suck at embarrassment. How do we get better at it? Dare we be grateful for our embarrassment? Is there such a thing as healthy embarrassment? Embarrassment on its own isn't a massive problem, so don't fear it: understand it. It invites us to humility and modesty. It's always about others, even if they're not there to see us I want to fit in. Fear of not fitting in. Isolation, not belonging Lone monkey is a dead monkey, helps us be aware of what the tribe norms and needs are. Its a non-verbal way of building trust. People who shoshow their embarrassment are deemed to be trustworthy with the converse also being true; people who try to hide their embarrassment Embarrassment is like Teflon. Nothing sticks then. We all can relate and it evokes compassion and empathy. "I've been there or had a similar experience. The Progression From Awkward Awkward > Embarrassment > Choice (V or P) (V)ulnerability, Authenticity, Acceptance & Expression It is what it is and I am who I am. I am good and can make Errors and mistakes OR (P)rotection, Inauthenticity, Denial, Shame Guilt - I am bad and judge myself Bullying - I want to make someone pay for my embarrassment Narcissists push embarrassment on someone else Humility is a significant part of our humanity. It is authentic. It accepts our limits. Humiliation is not accepting our humanity. It truly is inauthentic. It says we shouldn't have limits. How to Move From Awkward to Authentic Using The Circle of Relationships Our focus for addressing the awkward is going to be on the inner three circles because it seems that we experience most of our awkward moments around people we don't know or who don't know us very well. Outer relationships cause awkward moments. Getting together with family you haven't seen Circle #1 - Source Relationship Know that our value is not in what we do but in the character traits we have. We are not the sum of our tangibles, we are the expression of our intangibles. We have incredible character traits and innate abilities that are just waiting for expression Like the toddler we won't get to experience them if we don't take the steps to give them expression. It will mean that we will fall down, … alot! Realize learning is about laughing. If we learn to laugh at ourselves we will learn a lot more in life. Let's not take ourselves so seriously. The Inner Circle Relationships #2 - The Intimate Relationship When we are moving in the healthy progression from awkward our select few relationships can be so beneficial. People who express healthy embarrassment are more likely to see them as trustworthy. We tend to view it